


Help is on the way

by Blablabea



Category: Supernatural
Genre: (one sided) - Freeform, Cage Trauma, Episode: s15e05, Good Brother Lucifer, Good Brother Michael, Hurt/Comfort, I DO make the rules in this, M/M, No Spoilers, Past Lucifer/Sam Winchester, Raphael has issues, Season/Series 15, This is how I wish the finale would go okay, actually everybody has issues, editing tags as I go, empty trauma, just an idea i had, post 15x5, this may be not canon but it's canon in my heart, vessels bond with their angels, we all know he's coming back
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-01-31 07:03:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 40,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21442171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blablabea/pseuds/Blablabea
Summary: When everything else failed, and they found themselves desperate for a solution, any solution, Sam and Dean realized that this— This could be their shot at a good ending to the story.And that’s why the Winchester brothers were in the middle of nowhere, in a heavily warded room, outside a circle of holy fire, staring face to face with the archangel Michael.
Relationships: Gabriel & Lucifer & Michael & Raphael (Supernatural), Lucifer/Nick (Supernatural), Michael/Adam Milligan
Comments: 55
Kudos: 180





	1. An easy decision

**Author's Note:**

> A super special thank you to my beta blomvonar (@midamspn on tumblr!) <3
> 
> This is set post 15x5 but has no spoilers!  
Also I am thinking of making it a small serie cause I have.. ideas..

“It’s God! How can we fight God?!”

They came to the realization pretty quick after that, but the willingness to actually do it was another matter entirely. It went against everything they stood for, at least that’s what they tried to tell themselves. Nevermind that they worked with demons, ghosts, vampires, reapers, and angels before. This was…. something else.

But still, when everything else failed, and they found themselves desperate for a solution, any solution, Sam and Dean realized that this— This could be their shot at a good ending to the story.

And that’s why the Winchester brothers were in the middle of nowhere, in a heavily warded room, outside a circle of holy fire, staring face to face with the archangel Michael.

“Absolutely not.”

Now if only Michael had any intention of helping them.

“Come on, man, we’re your brothers!”

And that’s another thing, which made it all manner of weird and awkward. It wasn’t exactly Michael standing in front of them. The face they were talking to was Adam, their forgotten half brother, who was, for lack of a better term, joined with the archangel in his body.

After spending hundreds of thousands of hell years in the cage together, the grace of the angel and the soul of the human began to merge, and now they stood intertwined, never again to be separated from one another.  
And they were okay with that. It’s hard not to develop a relationship with your prison buddy, when they’re literally the only living thing around you for a lifetime. What began as hate and betrayal, turned into an unwilling partnership, became a sort of mutual respect, and now was a full on “we’re married to each other, I can’t live without them” sort of deal.

Being tied to an archangel was weird for Adam, and often they had to argue in their own head to sort out differences or discuss. They didn’t have to do that in this case, however, because Adam agreed with Michael on this simple matter: Sam and Dean could go screw themselves.

Lied to, eaten to death by monsters, brought back to life, lied to again, used and then abandoned for an eternity in the deepest part of hell to be tortured. One was expected to hold a grudge.

And now they had the guts to ask for their help? No thanks.

“The world is ending. For real this time. And we have no other option! We wouldn’t ask if there was any other way, trust me” Sam was always the one for that talk.

“Hm, cool motive, still don’t care.”

Dean scowled. They didn’t want to tell them yet but maybe they had a way to get a reaction out of Michael at least. He raised his voice, “God is back.”

Even after all his years as a hunter, Dean had to admit, the undivided stare of an archangel sent shivers down his spine. Unblinking, unmoving, they weren’t even breathing.

So that did get a reaction. He wasn’t sure yet if it was a good thing or not.

Nothing moved for a heartbeat, everything still as death. And the next moment, Michael blinked and took a breath, and everything was back to normal.

“Where is he?”

“We don’t know. But we need your help to stop him. He started the end of times, and we tried to stop it, but —” Dean went on with his monologue that was meant to somehow inspire Michael into helping them, but he wasn’t listening. He stared into nothing, allowing himself to feel… everything. The Earth in its entirely, with life hanging on by a thread, hell ripped open and not yet completely healed, and heaven, falling, the handful of angels left too weak to run it by themselves. The loss of his brothers and sisters hung heavy in his grace, the silence in his mind, where he remembered music and voices of his family, an unbearable weight.

Michael felt Adam’s soul soothing his sorrows, wrapping itself around him in a protective embrace. They knew what it was like to lose everything, but they were together, taking strength from each other.

“Are you even listening?!” Dean shouted at them.

“Not really.”

“Oh, great!”

“Are you asking me to go against my own father?” Michael tilted his head, relaxed in the way a tiger is, half a second before tearing you to shreds. “You killed my whole family; why would I ever side with you? From where we stand, you deserve the end of the world.” his tone was harsh, brow furrowed in an expression so human, it was clearly both of them talking now.

“It was all His plan! Don’t you get it? Everything that happened, everyone we lost, who we _all_ lost, was His doing! For a stupid story! Just entertainment! He never cared for any of us, He let everyone die and now He wants to finish the job. Your suffering was all for nothing! Aren’t you angry?!”

Michael’s expression was closed off, still and unexpressive, but his hands were shaking. Adam inside him was sad, so sad and angry, feeling so much as a human soul for the both of them. And Michael was just trying to hold it together. Ages of training to be impassive and to follow his father without question still present even after centuries of isolation and fire. He knew God didn’t care, he came to terms with it long ago, but to hear it shouted to his face? It still hurt.

He thought about his brothers. About Lucifer, and Raphael and Gabriel. All dead, all because of what... a story? Because of a father who didn’t care, never cared. If he did, why weren’t they at his side now, why couldn’t he hear their voices, feel their presence like he did since the beginning of time.

But he could hear the humans dying, hear them praying to God for help, for salvation, where no one was listening. He could feel the earth crying, life itself crumbling because of a god who couldn't be bothered to play with it.  
And he could hear the screams of the angels, their cries as heaven came closer and closer to falling, his family destroyed and abandoned.

The Winchesters looked around wildly as the wind suddenly picked up, slashing the walls and the roof outside the warehouse. Rain and thunder following, a raging storm that shook the town and the ones close to it. The lights went out in a burst of light, now only the holy fire was illuminating the interior. That, and the shining eyes of the archangel trapped in it, ablaze with grace and fury.

They took a step back, ready to run. They wanted a reaction out of Michael, and they got one. But they didn’t plan on being crushed to death by a building.

The doors broke open, and the windows shattered in a rain of glass, the wind entered the room, howling. It circled Michael, dragging the flames of the circle upwards and away from the ground, until it circled the angel like a pair of wings. They flared outwards once, and then folded away into nothing.

Michael stood, the epicenter of the storm. Inside he was raging, but it was that calm rage, fixated into a fine weapon. Adam’s soul and Michael’s grace feeding into each other’s fury, giving each other strength. They made a decision, and it was a surprisingly easy one.

“Where do we begin?”


	2. They have a plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Dean managed to get Michael and Adam to help them, because they were desperate. They would take any suggestion, perform any magic spell, face any consequence, in order to save the world. Which sounded so cheesy and idiotic even to their ears, but that’s apparently what destiny had in store for them. An epic battle, a heavy decision, making allies with your enemies to defeat the biggest evil there is: a writer that just won’t let it go.

Something had to be done. Something that would be drastic and insane in any other situation. But when you are literally up against God, insane is what you need.

Sam and Dean managed to get Michael and Adam to help them because they were desperate. They would take any suggestion, perform any magic spell, face any consequence, in order to save the world. Which sounded so cheesy and idiotic even to their ears, but that’s apparently what destiny had in store for them. An epic battle, a heavy decision, making allies with your enemies to defeat the biggest evil there is: a writer that just won’t let it go.

Michael was ready to do what was necessary, and Adam would always have his back. They agreed to help, but not with the simple cases of minor importance. They still didn’t care about humans that much, and understood that the bigger problem was a little bit more urgent to deal with.

They thought about it for a while. The Winchesters wouldn’t see or hear from them in days at a time, since they refused to sit down in one place for too long. 

So, they went to open fields and the top of mountains and the middle of the sea to just breathe and think of something, anything that might help. Once there, Michael would lose track of time, and really it wasn’t his fault; time worked differently on earth than it did in the cage. It took Adam waking them up after days of just staring into nothing and everything to go back to the bunker (or to wherever the Winchesters were) to talk.

That doesn’t mean that when Michael explained his plan to them, they didn’t freak out.

The issue was simple really.  
God was _the_ all-powerful entity, light itself. No one was stronger, except Death, but they knew that after all the problems they had already caused, She wouldn’t be very keen to even talk.  
  


There was, however, someone that was equal to Him. Someone that was in fact, _maybe_ willing to help.

“Amara?!”

“Yes.”

“Are you serious?!?”

“..Yes.”

“We spent a whole year trying to get rid of her!”

“Yes?”

“and you seriously want to bring her back?! That’s your big plan??”

“Yes!”

Dean let out an exasperated sigh, and Sam had his head in his hands at this point. It was a real long shot, the longest shot they could possibly take, but really, there was no other way.

“Find some other way. We’re not doing this.”

Michael frowned at them. He imagined how he could, in fact, disintegrate their bodies into dust particles with a single thought. It would be so easy, and he wouldn’t have to deal with small, useless humans trying to boss him around.

‘Small, useless humans that managed to stop the apocalypse multiple times’, suggested Adam from behind their eyes. ‘They are more than you think, and as much as I don’t like them, we can’t go around exploding people.’  
Michael, from his side, thought they absolutely _could_ do that, and nothing would be able to stop them, but a gentle, placating gesture from Adam was all it took to bring him back into the situation at hand. One thing was true, however,

“Okay, but,” Michael said with a small tilt of his head “You can’t really stop me, you know”

They flew around the planet for a while, thinking on how to track the Darkness down, without being spotted by Michael’s Father. That would lead to a whole other issue that they had no intention of going into quite yet.

The thing is, when your aunt is the embodiment of all that is Dark and Destruction, it’s not that hard to see for someone quite literally connected to the fabric of reality like an Archangel is.  
So it didn’t take long to see she was in…_Reno?_

“Okay, that’s not what I was expecting” Adam wasn’t familiar with Gods stuff, but he didn’t think he would meet one on the side of a pool in a garden of a five-star hotel. He was a bit nervous, 

So he was about to meet the evil aunt who tried to end all life a couple of times.  
‘Alright, cool’  
It wasn’t really cool and Adam was metaphorically shitting his pants. Only Michael being intertwined with his soul managed to calm him down. Michael was going to handle the talking anyway, so he had nothing to worry about.

Adam retracted to the deepest part of their consciousness, leaving Michael the stage for the conversation that was about to happen. It wasn’t going to be easy

“Hello, Michael” she greeted, taking off her sunglasses and folding them by her side

“Hello Amara. It’s been...a while”

She stood up from her chair, and she was equal parts beautiful and terrifying. Her eyes were just a little bit too piercing and her shadow a little bit too big behind her.  
Humans aren’t made to be able to see the ethereal, their brains too simple to even begin to understand the beings that now stood right beside them, but there was an underlying instinct, that probably saved their lives more times they would ever know.  
In this case, everyone that was in the immediate surroundings seemed to spontaneously want to get as far away from the two of them as possible, and they left the pool, and then the yard, leaving them alone.

She sighed, all deadly elegance, a frown pulling at her lips

“We need to do something about my brother.”

Or maybe it was going to be much easier than expected.

“He needs to be stopped”

“I agree,” she said in a monotone. She really didn’t seem to care that much. No matter how much the Winchesters thought they did to reunite the two of them, some wounds are too deep to heal, and issues aren’t solved with a five minutes conversation. Apparently being thrown in a locked dimension for eternity wasn’t something she got over easily.

“Can you kill him?” Michael asked. He didn’t know what he would feel if his father died just like that, but it would solve a lot of problems

“No, I can’t” she let out an annoyed sigh “We cannot be killed. Alpha and Omega, two sides of the same reality, can’t be one without the other? All the universes would just collapse on themselves without both of us to hold them up” she took a sip of her drink “Also, as much as he annoys me, and trust me, he _really_ does, I don’t want him dead.”

That was a problem, Michael thought. They had to stop him, but they couldn’t kill him. They had to prevent him from ending the universe though, hold him back somehow, maybe…?

“What about locking him up?”

“Oh, like you did to me all those eons ago?” she asked with a sour tone. Michael hoped she wasn’t too angry at him for that. He really didn’t want to be disintegrated. And he was well aware she could do that with little more than a snap of her fingers, but then again, she could end life on the planet just as easily, and since she wasn’t doing that… maybe he didn’t have anything to be too worried about.

“…Yes. Would that work? It wouldn’t kill him, but it would save…everyone”

She took another sip of her drink, looked at the side, at the water in the pool, shining with the reflection of the sun. The potted flowers with bright colors, and the insects buzzing around them, full of life. The world was beautiful, and she thought it would be a waste seeing it destroyed for his brother’s silly little games.

“Yes. I think that would work”

Michael nodded, relieved but not fully relaxed.

“So you will help out? Can we really do it?”

“I can lend a hand or two when you really need me, but I won’t be doing the dirty work for you. It’s your universe, you’re going to have to fight for it”

Michael looked down, thinking about the very few allies he had left. Heaven falling, the angels so few left and so tired. So very tired. Even if he managed to get hell by his side, and the couple of stubborn hunters that were waiting for him at the bunker, they didn’t stand a chance.

“But we aren’t nearly enough! He’s weak, but he is still God!”

Amara smirked at the angel in front of her, and with a turn of her wrist, she held a newly created folded piece of paper between her fingers. She offered it to him, and Michael took it with a confused expression.

He opened it, and read what she wrote. A spell, something he had never heard of.  
Then he understood. Adam felt the moment like an electric current going through them. The disbelief, and the longing, the all-encompassing joy.  
  
Michael’s hands trembled, holding the paper, and he cried.

Amara just looked at him, eyes still sharp, but a bit kinder, more understanding.

“Time to bring your brothers home” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I am officially writing this fic. I have already like...6 chapters written out and ready to be published!  
Get ready for some stuff happening and a whole lot of Michael/Adam
> 
> A HUGE thank you to my beta blomvonar (@midamspn on Tumblr!)


	3. Keep your enemies close

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Opening the Empty should be impossible.   
Still, somehow, someone once managed to do just that.  
A human.  
Keep your enemies close, and they might become new allies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my beta blomvonar as always!  
Hope you guys like this chapter :^)

Michael flew back to the Winchesters. No matter how much he would have liked to do everything on his own, he did need some help. Even admitting that to himself (and Adam) was a heavy task, but one to take care of nonetheless. The spell Amara gave him was only one step of the plan, an essential one, and Michael clutched the piece of paper, grace swelling with emotion once more. He just needed to find a way, and his brothers would be home again.

They could do this.

He appeared in the bunker kitchen while the Winchesters were eating, causing Sam to almost choke on a bite of his sandwich, and Dean to splutter the beer he’d been sipping on.

“What the hell, aren’t the wardings supposed to keep you out?!” Dean shouted, half turning toward him with a glare.

“Standard angels, yes. But we are…just a bit more powerful now. Nothing you can do can keep us out. Not for long”   
Adam winced from their shared mind “And he obviously didn’t mean to make it sound that much like a threat, guys, don’t worry,” he interrupted.

His brothers looked at them not at all convinced, and still freaked out that they could just…do that. It wasn’t that difficult to know who was speaking in which moment, but still, it was weird to see them going back and forth without any difficulty. They must have been really used to it, they guessed, considering the years and years together in the cage.  
Michael felt their guilt at that, and decided they deserved that and much more for what they did. To him, yes, but to Adam mostly. The cage was a place of isolation and torture designed for an archangel, and leaving a human in there, for that much time, forgotten by everybody? Yeah, they deserve to feel the guilt, they should drown in it.

“Anyways” Adam continued, soothing his angel’s sudden rage with a metaphorical pat on the head, “We have news!” He swiftly stole the sandwich from Dean’s plate, ignoring the outraged ‘Hey!’ that followed.

“We spoke to Amara” he said, munching down on the food. Oh, food. How he missed it. It wasn’t even that good, just basic sandwich stuff, but it tasted like heaven to him.

“..And??” Sam prompted, ignoring Dean, who was currently stealing his food to make up for the sudden loss.

“She was really scary” Adam wanted to laugh at the looks he received at that. What was the point of being immortal and all-powerful if he couldn’t mess with people a bit. He took the last bite on his treat, munching away happily.

Michael gently shoved him to the side, taking the stage. “There is a way we can stop my Father, but we can’t do it on our own. We’ll need help”

Sam stood up, passing a hand through his hair and sighing. “Alright, we can start rounding up hunters, maybe get the witches and the remaining angels? It won’t be easy, but-“

“No, that won’t be enough” Michael shook his head. “We need to get those who already managed to pull this off once, to even have a chance.” He waited for Sam and Dean to understand the situation.

When the gears in their head stopped turning, their eyes widened, and looked at each other for a moment, before they mutually decided Sam had to speak, having a bit more tact with these kinds of situations.

“Michael… you’ve been in the Cage a while, so you don’t know, but…your brothers are dead”

“I know. Don’t think I also don’t know who exactly is responsible for that” Sam winced, looking away. He had hoped Michael didn’t know about all that happened, but apparently he somehow did, or at least the majority of it.  
He continued, his glare losing all bite in the process. “I felt it the moment hell broke apart. Their absence is a burning loss in my mind, and I still can’t-“ he took a calming breath, willing his shaking hands to still. Even talking about it made the loss unbearable, and he leaned on Adam for support.   
He sighed.

“It’s not important. I’m going to bring them back” Adam nodded with him.

“From the empty? That’s impossible”

“Oh yeah? That’s not what Hell has been saying recently” Adam raised an eyebrow. “We’ve heard some things. No details, but we know someone managed to rip open the empty at least once. Not sure what happened after, but whoever it was, they were trying to get Lucifer out of there. Now, I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure you two had a part in what happened?”

With each word, the brothers looked more and more uncomfortable, and also really pissed.

“Yeah. Nick” Dean put as much venom in his name as he could.   
“The bastard went on a killing spree to get Lucifer back, almost killed Sam as well”

Sam nodded. He understood his brother’s anger, and he felt that as well for a long time, but now he had to admit he also felt guilt at how they handled the situation. They had so much on their plate at the time, they couldn’t stop to deal with him too, but he was, after all, a human dropped headfirst into the supernatural world, family murdered, possessed, brought back to life and possessed again. They had to expect the man could go crazy, and maybe if they stopped for a moment and helped him, the whole situation could be averted.   
But it was too late to think about that now.

Dean shook his head “but we don’t know how he did it, and it’s not like you can ask him, since he’s very much dead” Dean almost smiled at that. If he wasn’t, he would kill him himself.

Adam nodded “Well, true. But really guys,” he shrugged "how is that a problem for us?”

.

.

.

.

When they got to the house, it was raining. Everything was grey and still, even as the leaves of the trees shook with the water. The noise was soothing to Michael, reminded him that they were out of the cage, out of hell, and that the world around them was real. 

The Winchesters gave them the location and were coming by car. Since both Michael and Adam refused to be confined in the small space of the vehicle for so much time, they instead chose to fly there, and had to wait. It didn’t matter much, they enjoyed standing under the rain, feeling the earth under their feet.  
It didn’t take long for their clothes to get wet, and after an hour, they were soaked through. Good thing about not feeling the cold, was that the drops of water run down their shared face were really soothing, even if the wet clothes sticking to their skin were unpleasant.

The moment was interrupted by the revving of the engine, as the black car came into view and parked near the house. The Winchesters jumped down, and quickly came over to where Michael stood, collars pulled high to fend off the rain and the cold. Dean raised an eyebrow at the sight of Michael, soaked from head to toe.

“did you stand under the rain all this time?”

“yes. I enjoy it”

“you’ll catch a cold or something”

Michael didn’t even bother with a reply, and Adam simply rolled their eyes at them, heading inside the abandoned house. Sam, with a box full of ingredients and a couple of books of spells, went after them, and Dean followed.

The house was even worse than what they remembered. No one had been there in a while, that much was clear, but it smelled of death, and it was so still and devoid of life, it gave Sam and Dean goosebumps. They knew exactly what had happened there, and it wasn’t something nice.

They got to the main room, and Michael kneeled in a corner, where a spare dirty blanket laid. He gently tugged it away, revealing the decaying corpse of Nick, Lucifer’s loyal vessel. All the marks that Crowley and Hell left on him made it harder for time to take its toll on it, but it wasn't a pretty sight, flesh decaying and black, corpse so thin it looked more like a skeleton than anything else.  
Sam and Dean instantly covered their noses and mouths, stepping back. Michael merely sighed. It was sad, how someone so devoted could be left there to rot, without even a proper burial.  
Still, it saved them the effort of digging up a grave.

“Sam. The spell”

“Right” Sam wasn’t new at magic. While he had some reluctance at becoming a full-grown witch, he was still powerful, and had all the knowledge necessary to perform fairly complex rituals.  
Like raising a soul from hell.

It didn’t take him long to set the ingredients necessary, and the candles and the chalk circles. It was complex, but Sam was good at following instructions, and with Michael’s guide, they had everything set up in a short time.

Then he began chanting.

Nothing happened at first, as per usual with these types of spells. It took time for the magic to take power and to travel to the intended destination. In this case, a soul.   
Time didn’t stop, the rain still pouring outside, but everyone was silent, looking at the mangled corpse in the corner. Dean shifted the rifle in his hands, and mentally checked all the weapons he had stored around. He knew from experience these kinds of things never went well, and was ready for a fight.

He was just about to ask Sam if he was sure he performed the ritual correctly, when the thing in the corner made a guttural noise and gurgling sounds, before starting to breathe, but it was like it hadn’t done it in years and didn’t know how to make his own lungs work anymore. Then he opened his eyes, and he screamed. Or more like, he made a noise of a wounded animal, a wild cry for help. His throat probably didn’t work well enough to properly scream, so that was the best he could do.

The whole of the body twitched and twisted like it was trying to get away from the pain, without realizing it came from the body itself, broken and rotten.

“Nick”

When he heard his name, the noises stopped, and wild sunken eyes shot to Michael. He tried to breathe, failing again, but he was there, alive and aware.

He looked around and saw Sam and Dean, ready to kill him, and made a choked off sound, that for some could resemble talking through a useless throat.

“Wh…ere-“

“You’re at the house. You died, and we brought you back” Sam interrupted, face closed off and angry. “Momentarily” added Dean, glaring.

Nick looked around again, past them, shaking his head. “Where… is Lucifer?”

“He’s dead. You failed”

“No, no, no, no…” he kept shaking his head, crying out and making little choked off noises.

Adam grimaced. He heard enough screams in hell to last a lifetime, and Nick was clearly in pain

“Nick. I’m Michael” the angel said. “I need your help. I want to bring my brothers back. Including Lucifer.”

That caught his attention, and he took a sharp breath, falling silent again. He looked at the angel, not sure if he should believe what he was hearing.

“How…”

“I want to bring all of them back, but I need your help. A spell” he explained. “You used it to try and bring my brother back, I have the power to hold back the empty and to bring them here.”

Nick nodded. He didn’t understand what was going on, his mind in too much pain to understand anything. But Lucifer, he wanted to bring him back. He could bring him back. They could be together again, and then the pain would stop, everything would just stop and he could be at peace.

Michael continued “I will build vessels for them so they can-“

“No!!” Nick screamed, twisting painfully and launching himself at Michael the best he could. Michael simply shifted back half a step, and Nick ended up back on the floor, too weak to even sit back up. He tried to crawl towards Michael.

“No..I want. I have to. Let him come back to me” he rasped through gritted teeth. He couldn’t be without him, he couldn’t. His soul ached, torn apart and empty without his angel. If they could really bring him back, then-

“you want to be his vessel?”

“Yes!”

Michael shook his head “You did enough. I only need the spell.” He placed his fingers on Nick’s forehead, and in a moment learned the information he needed. The ingredients, the spell, the ritual.

“Thank you, I have what I need now”

He was about to stand back up, and let Sam and Dean have their way with what remained of the body, but Nick grasped Michael’s wrist before he could get up from his crouched position. He shifted as close as he could to the angel, and looked him in the eyes

“..please. Please. He’s everything”

If Nick had any tears left in his broken body, he would have cried them, his sunken eyes full of sorrow and grief. He didn’t care about anything anymore. His pride, his life, nothing mattered. He only wanted Lucifer back with him, to be one like they were before. He missed him so much, the loss a physical pain in his heart.

And Adam saw. Adam saw in him the desperation of someone that lost everything, and everyone that ever mattered to him. He didn’t have to imagine what that felt like.   
And he figured that if he ever got separated from Michael (not that that was possible anymore, with how soul and grace were merged together), he would go crazy as well. Nothing would look or feel the same without the archangel with him. He wasn’t justifying what he did, but Nick lost a love so great he ripped out the universe trying to get it back, and Adam understood that all too well.

“…alright” he whispered. “I’ll take him back to you”

“What?!” shouted Sam, “You can’t be serious! He’s crazy!”

“No way, we’re killing him here and now” Dean had the angel blade already out, but a piercing look from Michael held the brothers back.

He turned back to Nick, who didn’t let go of his wrist, and was shaking with the effort of holding himself up.

“You were loyal to my brother. You followed him to the end of the world, and continued following him even after you were left behind”

“I will… never stop looking for him. He’s…everything to me”

Michael and Adam held each other close, looking at the lost soul, half of a whole tore apart from his other.

“Do you love him?” they asked

“Yes.” Nick choked through tears that would simply not come. There wasn't any hesitation in the answer. Not a second.

Michael nodded, and placed a hand on Nick’s head.   
Light shone through, Sam and Dean covering their eyes and stepping back. Brighter and brighter, through the windows and the cracks on the walls. A ringing melody accompanied it, and under his touch, Nick’s body fixed itself. Flesh and skin and bone and hair, until on the ground laid a whole body, like it was never dead in the first place.

Nick opened his eyes and looked at Michael, and at Adam.

“Thank you”

His body didn’t hurt anymore thanks to Michael, he could feel his legs take strength and his lungs breathe air without agony. But he still felt pain. He knew he would never stop feeling it, he could never be truly whole, until he was reunited with his other half. His angel. Lucifer.


	4. Nick is not okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Like any other humans, these humans were also really complicated. And for how much Sam and Dean could love fiercely and without restrictions, they could also hate just as much.  
And boy, they hated Nick.

To say things were tense would be an understatement. From the moment Nick came back to life, things had been… weird, in their little group. Not that Michael would ever call them that, but Adam was starved of the simple presence of other people, and he desperately needed to hear other voices other than his own (and the musical pitch of impossible tones that was Michael in his head). So, for how much he still resented his brothers, Castiel, and generally the rest of humanity, he also went out of his way to be close to them, and Michael could never deny him anything, so, unofficially, they were now a “group”.

But like any other humans, these humans were also really complicated. And for how much Sam and Dean could love fiercely and without restrictions, they could also hate just as much.  
And boy, they _hated_ Nick.  
Michael considered it was fair, given all the trouble he caused, but it would be hypocritical of him and Adam to judge him too harshly, considering their current arrangement. They could understand the need to be reunited with Lucifer.  
Because at that point, it wasn’t a desire, but a real Need. Like a serial drug addict’s body would physically need the high to function, Nick was now accustomed to being together with something so powerful and so beautiful, his mind and body would quite literally shut down if he was torn from the other too harshly.  
And that was what happened, at least that was what Adam thought, and it made him feel less guilty about bringing what was in fact a murderer back to life.

The glares he received from Sam and Dean for a whole week still made him feel like crap though.

But it was his decision (with Michael, so it was their decision. No decision was only his own nowadays, and he was strangely okay with that) and he wouldn’t regret it.

Nick still was trouble though.

The first day, after Sam and Dean refused to let him ride with them back to the bunker, Michael had flown him back, and could see that even if his body was now physically intact, Nick’s mind was another mess entirely.  
The slump of his shoulders and sunken eyes betrayed his tiredness, and Adam had to help him sit down before he fell.  
When he tried to step away to give the man some space, Nick grabbed his wrist, making a low noise in his throat. He was looking at them with sudden focus, and looked like he wanted to say something, but didn’t know how to form the words.

Nick let them go, looking away as if embarrassed from his action, before mumbling  
“you…you feel like him” he scrunched his eyebrows. That wasn’t what he wanted to say, but he couldn’t find the words to explain his thoughts. But when Michael had touched him, he felt something, that his soul tried to connect to, searching for another that was entirely too similar, but not the same.

Still, Michael understood, and nodded. It wasn’t unexpected, that Nick would react to his presence similarly to his brother’s. Their grace was wildly different, but still, for a soul that was desperately searching for a connection to the ethereal, it was still something. Even now, just standing above his slumped form on the chair, Michael could see his soul trying to reach to him, broken and twisted, looking for someone to help and make him whole again. Michael couldn’t help with that, only Lucifer could mend the pieces together, but still, the soul was in pain, and it would take a while before they could even attempt at bringing his brothers back.

Michael wasn’t sure he could even survive for that long in that condition, or if he would stay relatively sane until then.  
He raised a hand and placed it on Nick’s cheek. The man sighed at the contact, and leaned into it, closing his eyes. Grace shone through their palm and into Nick, spreading like a healing balm in him, attempting to at least soothe the hurt he was feeling, and keeping the broken pieces of his soul intact. It was like duct taping a falling building together, so by no means a long-term solution, but it was more than Nick ever hoped for, and a couple of stray tears escaped his eyes. When Michael took a step backwards, he opened his eyes again, and his voice was choked up when he spoke “Thank you”

Adam knew he wasn’t referring only to the touch.

If their relationship with Nick was okay, and they got to know the man better in the days that followed, the Winchesters were more aggressive than ever. They would make a point to always have at least one (visible) weapon with them at all times, even when just relaxing in the common rooms, and the looks they threw at Nick suggested exactly how they would have liked to use them.

They did try to lock him in the dungeon and only letting him resurface cuffed to use the bathroom and eat, but as soon as Adam discovered this, he was so furious, he and Michael made the whole building shake and tore the door away from its hinges. Nick was freed, to live as he pleased, on the promise not to kill anyone, and it wasn’t brought up again.  
The door was repaired a couple of days after, when they calmed down enough to recognize that having a secure room could be useful. 

Sam and Dean did feel bad about the whole situation, but they were also way too stubborn to apologize, so they left the situation to solve itself, even if it did mean having to see Nick every day.

For his part, Nick didn’t mind the treatment. He knew he deserved that and more for what he did, but he also knew he didn’t feel sorry at all, and that he would do it all over again if it meant having his angel back.  
So he mostly kept to himself, hanging around with Castiel (who was the only one that didn’t seem to resent him that much for his actions for some reason) or Michael and Adam, who reminded him so much of Lucifer that his soul hurt and ached every time he looked at them, but he couldn’t bring himself to walk away all the same.

Nick didn’t go outside much, everything looked grey and dull to him anyways, and he figured the urge to hurt and kill and run wouldn’t resurface as long as he stayed inside. The nightmares sure didn’t, but it was a small price to pay. And this way, seeing his wife’s face (dead, blood on her face and dress, he could never forgive himself) and hearing his baby’s cries every night (screaming, scared and in pain, it was all his fault), he was sure he would never forget them.  
Sometimes he dreamt about Lucifer killing them, and then himself, smiling cruelly even with his own blade sticking out from his stomach, and he could only be thankful that no one cared enough to come to his room when they heard his cries at night. He wasn’t sure he could survive the humiliation.

He remembered what that demon told him, that it was Lucifer's order to kill his family. He remembered the confusion and the pain and the anger all tied together in him, ready to explode. He didn't believe what he said, he couldn't. Demons lied, he knew that, and Lucifer from the cage, only had eyes for Sam. Before they met in his dreams, the angel probably didn't know he even existed.  
It was all a lie, he repeated to himself. He would have never done that. 

Still, the doubt remained, like a festering wound. The only thing that brought him peace was hoping that soon, soon he would be able to ask Lucifer himself for the truth.   
And unlike demons, he would never lie.

The night he dreamt of an endless black void, he knew something was different.  
He couldn’t see anything, not even his own hands, all light and color swallowed by that infinite darkness. There was no sound, his breaths mute, even if he felt his chest expand with them. Even the ringing he usually heard in his ears when there was no sound was absent, and Nick felt himself panicking.

Was he dead? Worse than dead? Lost forever in this place that wasn’t a place? He felt his consciousness, but he knew he was asleep. Would he ever wake up? He couldn’t hear his own breaths, but he knew they were coming faster and faster, even if there wasn’t anything there, not even air.  
He called out, to someone, anyone, anything, but the sound didn’t make it past his lips when it was already swallowed by nothing.

He felt something touching his feet, a slimy thing that wasn’t hot nor cold, just there, but he couldn’t see anything when he looked down where he assumed his legs were. He couldn’t see, even as the feeling crawled up his legs to his waist.  
His breathing quickened, and he tried to pry away the thing from his middle. But it was like trying to get tar off of him, and soon his arms were also covered with it. The thing kept inching up, to his chest and his throat, and Nick was overcome with the sudden certainty that he was about to die.  
The last thing he saw, the only thing he ever really saw there, a second before being swallowed by the inky black, were a pair of red eyes opening and calling for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit shorter, but another is coming soon! 
> 
> Thank you to my beta as always!!  
Extra thank you to the kind reader who reminded me that a demon once told Nick it was Lucifer's order to kill his family, I had...possibly....forgotten about that....  
It's gonna get cleared up later on, no worries!


	5. Vessels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In order to roam the Earth, Angels (and archangels) needed vessels.  
And that was an issue they had to deal with, before opening a portal to the Empty. With how the world was, it was unlikely his brothers would find compatible humans to bond with, and even if they did, they wouldn’t last for long.

Sam and Dean were going over some notes with a cup of coffee in their hands. It was way too early to begin their work, but they all were antsy and eager to just do something, so they started the day earlier than usual. 

Michael had told them, they needed some other spell before they could actually open the Empty and free the other archangels. He had explained in detail the works of it, but all Dean got was that it was a weird magic....ritual….thing, that was supposed to make suitable vessels for angels. It was already complex and required a skill set they just didn’t have, but on top of that, Michael explained that being archangels, they would need to change it up a bit for the whole thing to work.

Point was, it was complicated, it was too early in the morning to think about it, and Dean needed more caffeine.

But they had found apparently the right section to look into, and Michael set them to work on the translation and just flew away. The brothers didn’t know why he couldn’t just do it himself, given the infinite knowledge and all that, and figured that he either had other things that needed to be done, or he was having one of those days, where the angel wasn’t quite all there in the head, and couldn’t make sense of his own thoughts.

They witnessed those moments more than once, in random fits of rage or fear, sometimes Michael could be found staring at nothing with a sickened expression, sometimes his hands would start to shake in the middle of a conversation and he would just fly away mid-sentence.  
The only thing that seemed to help was Adam, who frequently traded places with the angel, and would apparently calm him down whenever the world was too much for him to bear. They could only be grateful for that, because even if they had to deal with a crazy Castiel once, they could only imagine what the archangel Michael himself could be like if left like that.

Now was one of those moments apparently, because even if they were in the room, it was clearly Adam sitting not far from them, eating some European sweet him and Michael flew to France just to buy.

They really didn’t need sleep anymore apparently, and even if they did, the nightmares would be too much for either of them to bear, so instead the two of them spent the nights roaming the Earth and experiencing everything life had to offer.

That, of course, included food, even if they didn’t need to eat either, but Adam enjoyed it so much that Michael could only look with a fond expression and grimace at the feeling of sweet cream and powdered sugar smearing on their face and fingers.  
He still thought humans were disgusting, and eating was especially messy, but he could feel how happy Adam was at every bite of their current treat, so he figured he didn’t mind much after all. 

Sam and Dean did mind, but only because he wasn’t sharing any with them. Since Adam was too sweet and nice to actually harm anyone, he took all these small annoying gestures as his personal revenge for the thousand years they left them in hell. The two of course couldn’t compare, so Adam was all too happy to just be a little bit of an ass to them for the rest of eternity without ever having to hear them complain. Michael was impressed, and sort of proud.

Castiel entered the room with a tired “’Morning” and sat next to Sam. He was visibly tired, more than usual, with rumpled clothes and messy hair. Sam took one look at the angel and pushed his cup of coffee closer to him, figuring that he may be impervious to the wonders of caffeine, but that the hot drink may do him some good anyways.  
Castiel took the cup in his hands and just sighed at the pleasant heat.

“You alright, man?” Sam asked, even if the answer was pretty easy to see.

He mumbled something that may have been an answer before taking a sip of coffee. Things were…a mess. Ever since he came back from a hunt only to find first Adam and Michael and now Nick of all people walking around, things were crazier than usual. It took a while to warm up to the idea of having Michael on their side, but no matter how long it had been, and how much his views changed over time, he remembered the absolute power that was the archangel, and he was really glad they could count on him.

The fact that he could also see how Adam’s soul was intertwined with the grace made things even better. He wasn’t sure at first, fearing for the safety of the soul. Not everybody was made to bear the sheer power of an archangel, and he knew Michael wasn’t the easiest to deal with.  
But after witnessing how human and angel interacted and mixed together, wrapped one in the other and never even attempting to separate, he realized their arrangement was different than simple vessel and angel. Stronger, better.  
He really was happy for them, he could see they had found someone to live for in the direst of situations, and he could only admire that.

But now Michael with his crazy plan, bringing his brothers back from the Empty to fight God and trap him in another dimension? Yeah. It was so crazy it may actually work. Or at least he hoped it would, because they had no other chance.

But all the same, monsters and demons kept coming, and everybody needed help he couldn’t give.  
Things couldn’t be put on hold, so he was flying back and forth helping hunters, killing demons that were too powerful for others to fight, and handling the mess that were the few angels alive in his spare time.

He did ask Michael to go back to heaven and just fix things, but they figured that if they wanted to keep their return, and the plan, a surprise, they had to keep low, at least for a while.  
Going to Heaven and reclaiming the throne for himself wasn’t exactly ‘Keeping Low’, so Castiel would have to do without them, and holding on for a while longer.

Still, he felt pretty useless at the moment. The fight with Dean didn’t help, and he had to admit he only came back to see Sam and reassure him that things were okay, more or less. He was happy to have him as a friend, and he missed spending time with him, even just reading quietly or watching a movie or two.  
But they rarely had time to relax these days, and he was just about to announce his next leave, going to deal with a vengeful spirit on the other side of the country, when he heard running steps coming toward them.

-

Nick barged in the room panting. Sam and Dean instantly had two guns pointed at him, and lowered them only when they were sure he wasn’t an imminent threat. Everybody stared at him, still standing in the doorway, holding on to the frame.  
He looked like a mess. It was clear he just woke up, hair standing up in awkward angles and rumpled clothes, but he had a wild look in his eyes, and under the ever-present sadness they could see fear.

Nick was still catching his breath, looking around the room before settling his gaze on Michael.

“He’s awake”, he panted.

That got Michael’s attention, and he tilted his head. Before he could say anything, Dean frowned at Nick  
“What? Who is awake?”

“Lucifer” he choked out, hand tightening on the doorframe. “I had a dream, or- or maybe it wasn’t, I don’t know, but he is awake and. And he’s scared and he needs me and-“

“Nick calm down” Adam walked over, laying a hand on his shoulder “Tell us what happened”

“I had a dream” he began again.  
“It was this dark empty space, and he was there, I saw him!”

“you had a dream of the Empty?” Castiel asked with a frown.

“Yes!!” Nick half-shouted. They were missing the point.  
“Lucifer was there, he was awake and we need to go!” he told Michael. The calm look he received in response wasn’t what he was expecting.

“It’s impossible for you to project your consciousness in the Empty, not even angels can do that without assistance. It was just a dream” Michael sounded so collected, and Nick wanted to scream.

“No. No, it wasn’t. I saw him, I swear he was there” He gripped the side of his head, pressing into the pounding he could feel there. It hurt so bad, he didn’t know if it was the noise of his own heart beating to strong and too fast, or if it was his soul finally breaking down.  
He let his arms fall to the side, hands shaking, and he tightened them into fists.

“Please, Michael” he could feel his eyes sting, but he wouldn’t cry. He just felt so helpless, images of that endless black flashing before his eyes, like a nightmare that wouldn’t quite leave after he woke up. And knowing that he was there, that Lucifer was there, waiting for him, made his soul hurt more and more, a physical pain in his chest and his head, burning through him.

“Please” he repeated.

Michael looked at him, taking in the damage of the soul, the pain radiating from it “…alright,'' he said after a short pause.

“It doesn’t matter if it was only a dream or not” Adam continued, “we have all that we need, so no reason in waiting longer than necessary”

“We do?” Sam asked. “I thought you had to do some –“ he waved a hand around “- angel stuff, before we could start”

“It can wait another week. Nick can’t.” Michael explained, “so we get ready now”

“That’s great!” Dean exclaimed, standing up in victory holding a very old scroll in his hand “Because I just finished transcribing the spell” he finished with a grin.  
Sam gave an incredulous laugh. They were really going to do it.

\--

It didn’t matter how powerful Adam and Michael were, and how many spells and how much help they could get. In order to roam the Earth, Angels (and archangels) needed vessels.  
And that was an issue they had to deal with, before opening a portal to the Empty. With how the world was, it was unlikely his brothers would find compatible humans to bond with, and even if they did, they wouldn’t last for long. Given the work they had to do to stop Chuck, they needed stable vessels at the ready.

Kidnapping humans, emptying them of their souls, and modifying their cell-work to be compatible with the grace of archangels was not a pursuable plan (at least, that’s what Sam and Dean very strongly told Michael when he proposed to do just that), so they had to come up with an alternative.

That being building some blank bodies from scratch.

Michael had never done that for himself, but knew that Gabriel had, in the past (or maybe Loki had, no one was clear on what exactly happened, other than it was possible), so they opted for using the same kind of magic.

It wasn’t a spell that required lots of power, but what it needed were ingredients. Some common, some rare, so they all pitched in and started to search them.

Sam and Dean visited the few magic users they knew and asked for help. They lied when asked what they needed the herbs and crystals for, but no one was surprised, and all the transitions went pretty smoothly. They promised favors in return, and of course to help with whatever future monster would cross the town. Given their fame, everyone was ready to agree, and the brothers continued their rounds.  
Nick stayed in the bunker, looking through their archives to find the simpler items. Having not much experience on the hunting world, they didn’t want to risk getting into trouble, and Nick didn’t really complain. He was okay being inside for the time being.  
Castiel, Michael and Adam were ready to fly across the world to find the more exotic ingredients, and the most dangerous ones that required care. They had to dig deep to find them, and at times threaten some old dusty collector that just wouldn’t cave in, but all things considered, they didn’t run into any trouble.

When they had all they needed, they headed out, hands full of boxes, to a river.

Sam and Dean were pleasantly surprised, appreciating the change of scenery from the usual dark basements, dusty rooms and empty abandoned buildings where they usually found themselves when attempting spells and rituals. This place was way nicer, a nice patch of grass in the middle of some trees that shadowed them from the sun. The small river that crossed the area was clear, water clean and fresh, and the place was speckled with flowers, small paintbrushes of color everywhere.  
Sam and Dean could feel themselves smiling. They hadn’t been in a place this nice in years, they thought things like these didn’t even exist anymore.

Sam wished Castiel could see this, he would have liked it, he thought. Their friend postponed his leave and stayed behind with Nick, with the excuse of keeping an eye out for him, but maybe they could come back once this was all said and done and just enjoy a sunny day in this little piece of heaven on Earth.  
Sam would have liked that, he decided, and set his box down beside Dean’s.

Michael was in front of them, near the water, barefoot. The box he was carrying was on the ground, his shoes not far away, and was now…taking his pants off?

“Uhh ...What are you doing?” Sam asked

“Well, Michael may be able to magically dry off in half a second, but do you know how uncomfortable having wet shoes is?” Adam huffed, finally freeing his legs from the fabric and kicking it near the rest of his stuff. 

“And jeans as well, it’s so…ugh. I’d rather you see me in boxers right now” he turned toward them with his hands on his hips “I know, scandalous”

Sam continued to stare, while Dean stifle his laughter.

“The spell has to be done in the water” Adam explained finally, turning back towards the river “And I refuse to be in wet clothes”  
He would keep the shirt though, if only to keep a semblance of modesty, and for how stupid it was, he didn’t want to feel exposed. Michael didn’t care for nudity, it was just another human thing that was too far for him to understand, but he didn’t want Adam to feel uncomfortable, so he let him decide how to act in that regard.

For the magic and everything though, Adam left all control to him, so when they stepped into the water, he retracted to the backseat, present enough to help if necessary, and to fuel his curiosity for how this was going to work. Feeling the cool water on his legs was a plus, the sensation nice and soothing.  
He felt it rise to his hips and then stop when they reached the deepest point of the small river. He could feel the soft mud and small rocks under his feet, and the touch of weeds to his legs made him recoil so hard, Michael had to check there wasn’t anything else in the water before he settled down.

Apparently Adam wasn’t human enough to need to eat or sleep anymore, but the caveman feeling of ‘something touched me, I can’t see, danger! Danger! Get out of there Right Now!’ was still there. It amused Michael, and he smiled at the flare of embarrassment coming from Adam. It was adorable, and he enveloped his soul, soothing his hurt ego while promising that he would protect him from all the evil slimy algae in the world.  
Adam wasn’t impressed in the least, but he let it go grumbling.

“Alright, I’m ready” Michael finally said, and Sam and Dean settled at the edge of the ground with their ingredients. They would do the mixing and chanting part, while Michael would put the energy necessary and mold it to create the bodies from the clay and water.  
It was complex, and they had to make sure to follow the instructions to the letter, or the result wouldn’t be correct, and the bodies wouldn’t be able to contain the angels.

With a nod to each other, Sam and Dean began to work.

Dean never liked spells. All the magic and rituals reminded him too much of the work of witches, and he absolutely despised the things. But he had to admit, watching his brother learn and become more and more powerful with each book he read was fascinating, and he felt proud of his Sammy for that.  
He himself rarely took part in the real action when it came to magic, preferring to keep to the sides and checking that nothing went wrong, but this time he made an exception, given the number of little details to take count for, he was more than happy to share the burden with Sam, and to help with the whole process.  
Herbs were mixed and crystals were crushed, candles were lit and the words were said in fairly complex Latin with a touch of Enochian from Michael, who was observing the whole thing from the water, face set in concentration.

Sam continued chanting, and Dean lit a match, tossing it in the bowl. A blaze of fire instantly rose in the air, bright and blue. Dean could feel the heat on his face, and turned his head away, covering his eyes.  
He heard a rush of wind, and he looked at Michael.

His eyes were shining with grace, and he plunged his arms in the river. The water around him darkened into a muddy red color, and started sizzling, sending little droplets everywhere around him. Dean took half a step back with Sam from the edge of the ground in order not to get hit with them. They didn’t know what was dangerous and what wasn’t, so it was best not to take any chances.

Michael was shifting his arms and shoulders, apparently doing something below the surface they couldn’t see, but it seemed to be working. At least they hoped.  
Michael got his arms deeper in the water and hissed in pain. Dean hoped it was nothing, but then he saw his face, teeth gritted and brows furrowed.

“What’s wrong, what’s happening!?” he asked, alarmed.

Michael grunted, “Humans aren’t born cold and still. You’re made of life and heat. Apparently, a lot of heat” he said, without looking up.

Dean’s gaze shifted to where his arms went into the dark water, and he saw the skin around and near red and scorched. He was being burned, and badly. Dean immediately went closer to the edge again, but before he could do anything as stupid as jumping in water so hot it was burning an archangel, Michael stopped him

“No! Don’t come closer. Just-“ he huffed, more annoyed than anything else, shifting his stance “- pass me the blanket. I’m almost done”

Dean looked at his brother, and they nodded to each other. They rushed to one of the boxes behind them, and took the sheets to the edge.

“Good. Now spread one on the surface in front of me”

They did as they were told and watched as Michael used one hand to tug down the sides underwater, to wrap them around a form they could barely see from above. If they had to guess, it was very human-shaped.

Michael finished tightening the sheet and rose the now covered bundle right on the surface, before taking it in his arms and laying it on the ground. It was big, definitely as big as a grown human, and the shape was the right one as well. Sam and Dean had dragged their fair amount of bodies wrapped in sheets, blankets or just body bags, so they had no problem distinguishing one.

They used the second blanket to wrap the fuming body in order not to get burned, and dragged it further away from the water. They couldn’t see anything under the layers, but it sure felt like a body, so they guessed it worked.

When they turned back, Michael had his arms in the water once again, and they began working on the second one.

The process went pretty much the same. Chanting, all sorts of mixing things and fire. Water dark and heating up, Michael apparently mixing and forming the human shape, until he called them to get the sheets ready.  
He wrapped the second body and laid it on the ground, before they dragged it away further.

Just like that, they were done, and the two vessels laid one next to the other in a clear patch of grass.

When Sam and Dean turned around, they saw Michael lifting himself out of the water, sitting on the edge with his legs still in. They tried to ignore the burns they could see on his arms, skin red and raw, telling themselves that he was an angel, so he could heal himself just fine, but Adam was also in there, and that couldn’t feel okay.

“Are…Are you alright?” Sam asked.

“Yes, I’m fine” he replied, staring at the water, now once again fresh and clean.

Michael was, in fact, not fine. The ritual went well, he was positive they did everything right, and that the bodies would work to contain his brothers. The whole thing didn’t require a lot of power on his part, but it was still more uncomfortable than expected. The scorching water did burn his skin (their skin) and he had to take a moment to come back to himself, and send off the thoughts that were circling his mind, that the feeling of white-hot heat and pain consuming his flesh was one far too familiar.  


Michael healed their body slowly, reconnecting skin and muscle, until their legs and arms were as good as new. The memory of the pain remained, and he could feel the tenderness in certain places, but other than that, they were fine.

Adam woke up after that, feeling returning to him slowly. He guessed everything was done, and reassured the worried presence that was Michael at his side that everything was okay, but gently chastised him for not letting him help. He was definitely grateful for the protection, but he didn’t want to be what held Michael back. They were in this together, and the only way they could go on was if they both protected each other.  
That said, he also checked over Michael to see if he had gotten hurt at all during the process, and only after being sure that there really wasn’t anything wrong, he stood up.

After getting dressed again, Adam stretched his arms above his head sighing, and walked over to Sam and Dean, and the two wrapped bodies on the ground.

“Well that’s not creepy at all” they really did look like body bags.

“Yeah… Hm.. what do you think they look like?” Sam asked, curious.

“They are blank vessels” Michael supplied, “If you wanted to describe them, they would sort of look like mannequins, I guess”

“What? So when they get possessed, we’ll have a bunch of creepy dolls walking around and talking?” Dean did not like that idea. It was way too creepy.

Michael scoffed “No, of course not. They are made blank, so that when an angel possesses them, they will choose how to shape them. They will look however my brothers want to look”

“Last time I checked, you guys didn’t care much for appearances. You just want a comfortable meatsack”

“We are waves of celestial intent, why would we care about appearances?” It was another human thing he didn’t get, the obsession with looks. Angels were how they were, a million eyes and wings and light, so they didn’t get how the shape of one’s nose or the fold of their clothes mattered in the slightest.

“But” he continued, “I also know my brothers can be…difficult. And I’d rather leave the choice to them” he shrugged.

Maybe it did matter, the shape of the body. To him, having teeth and claws and more eyes than you could count was normal, but probably it was monstrous to humans, considering most would instantly die screaming from only seeing his true form.   
Michael would have never thought that hearing a compliment from a human would feel so nice, but that’s exactly what it was. But maybe it was only because it was Adam saying that, since his opinion mattered the most to him, he figured that was the reason he felt warm.  
He reassured Adam that he, as well, found his only two eyes and four limbs to be perfectly appealing. He didn’t quite understand the laugh he got in response, but he was happy that Adam was having fun.

“Seems fair” Dean shrugged “Let’s just hope Gabriel doesn’t decide to look like Hulk Hogan or something”

Michael nodded, even if he didn’t get it in the slightest, and Adam laughed in their head, happy and carefree.  
He suddenly felt a wave of affection for his human at the feeling. He smiled to himself, thinking maybe the Winchesters weren’t so bad after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! Lots of Things happened and I suddenly had no time to publish chapters haha  
But now hopefully I can get you guys to the Good Stuff ;^)
> 
> Thanks as always to my beta blomvonar (midamspn on tumblr!) <3  
Enjoy!


	6. Ritual

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The words were rolling off his tongue easy and fluent, gaining power. They wouldn’t need many ingredients for the ritual, only one.  
Michael reached into his jacket and took out his blade.  
Blood.
> 
> When they read Nick’s mind, they had seen what he had done to open the portal to the Empty. Circle of salt and herbs, those weren’t important to them, but the blood of a Nephilim, the power of a being that had in them both the grace of an archangel and the fuel of a human soul.
> 
> It sounded awfully familiar

They were finally ready, everything was set and done, so they had no reason to wait any longer.  
As soon as Michael and Adam regained the energy lost to make the empty vessels, it was time.

So, to be honest, maybe no one was actually ready, but they all guessed nobody could really be ready to tear open the fabric of the universe. But preparations were made, spells were rehearsed, precautions were taken, so they were as good as they could get.

So, late in the night, Michael took them all into an open field, in the middle of nowhere. The sky was still dark, clouds hovering low, hiding the stars from view. Only a sliver of moon peeked out from time to time, illuminating the space around them. The field was empty, and far enough from civilization that no lights could be seen, even in the distance. The only visible life around them was the stubborn weeds that grew in the hard ground, that was too dry and barren for anything other than a few sporadic growths of dull green. Dust flew around them for a moment after the landing, shaken from the beat of wings.

Sam and Dean looked around them, there was nothing at all. They had no idea where they were, and they didn’t like that one bit, but they considered that if they trusted Michael with what he was about to do, the location was really the least of their problems.   
They looked at each other and adjusted the grip on the body they were holding up.  
“Is here okay?” Dean shouted in the general direction of the archangel, who stood a few paces from them, looking seemingly at nothing.

“Yeah, you can put them down”

The brothers set their charge on the ground, the sheet wrapped around it hiding it from view. Castiel and Nick did the same with the other body they were carrying, putting it down beside the other. Like that, it looked like a pair of body bags, ready to be buried or burned or just left there for nature to take its course.

But there was nothing natural about the bodies, or what they had to do with them.

Castiel took a few steps closer to Sam, and tried to reassure him.  
“It’s going to be alright”  
Sam didn’t quite believe him, but nodded anyway. Too late to turn back now anyway. And even if they did, they couldn’t stop Michael and Adam from doing the ritual anyway, so they may as well be there to check things went okay, and to be ready in case they don’t.  
Castiel addressed both brothers “we should take a few steps back. This is going to get...intense”  
Dean rolled his eyes, but complied, and they set themselves further away, at the ready to intervene at the slightest sign of… of? They didn’t know how this thing was supposed to go, and there wasn’t much they could do, so they were just ready for anything at all.

As the three of them backed away, Nick walked closer to Michael, standing beside him.

“Is this going to work?” he asked, and he hated how his voice trembled with the question. He had lived with the pain for so long, and now they were offering a chance to make it all go away, for his love to come back.  
He didn’t think he could survive if it turned out to be a false hope after all.

“Yes. We will make it work” ever since Amara gave them the possibility to bring his brothers back, Michael had used every bit of energy into completing the task, diving headfirst into the mission, uncaring for anything else. Other than Adam of course, who in any case understood Michael’s need for this to be done, and didn’t take it personally when he seemed more distant than usual.

Adam supported Michael completely, and was ready to help him any way he could when the time comes. His relationship with his brothers was…not the best, but he could understand the love his angel felt toward his family, at least to an extent. If being together for an eternity in hell brought the two of them closer than he would have ever imagined, he could only guess what it meant to care for someone since the beginning of time.

What he knew for certain, was that this was important to Michael, and that was enough for him.   
He already knew what they had to do, and he knew what it would take. They would make it work. They needed it to work.

Adam turned towards Nick, and half smiled, trying to be reassuring. The man looked so tired, and his eyes betrayed his desperation.   
“It’s gonna be alright” he said, putting as much gentleness and conviction into the words. Nick nodded, taking a breath and standing up straighter.

Michael blinked and looked for a moment at the Winchesters and Castiel, standing far away, and the two vessels on the ground. They were only empty containers, shapeless and without life, but soon there would be…they would be…

Adam steadied his mind, reassuring as always, and Michael looked at Nick.

“Are you ready?”

“Yes”

“I don’t know how he’s going to react, seeing me on this side. You have to call to him, and he will come to you.   
You’ll know when.”

Nick nodded again, much surer than earlier, before turning back and walking where the others were standing.  
They tensed when they saw him coming, but he guessed that after everything, it was understandable.  
He stood next to them, looking at Michael in silence. He felt their glares, and he sighed.  
“…For what it’s worth, I am sorry” he said in a toneless voice.

“Yeah right. ‘We supposed to believe that?” Dean barked. Nick shrugged.

“I don’t care if you believe me or not. I just had to say it. I know what I did was…wrong, and I wish things had gone differently”

“But if you had to, I guess you’d do it all over again, wouldn’t you?” Sam said slowly, voice far less angry than he expected, more resigned and sad than anything else.

“Yes,” Nick looked him in the eyes, “I know our experiences are different, but I also know you understand why. At least to an extent.” He looked back at Michael and Adam. They looked so focused and serious, but also…at peace. They were happy, just from being together. Nick knew what that connection felt like, the sharing of one’s mind and body, being chained to a comet without getting burned by it. He could see them working together, moving and thinking as one, and ignored the spark of jealousy in his stomach. He never had that, they never had the time and the occasion, but he knew what he felt. He knew.

Nick whispered “…I can’t live without him”

Sam didn’t respond, unwilling to admit even to himself that Nick was right. His relationship with Lucifer was so complicated and was broken and twisted beyond repair by fate and by chance and. And...  
He shook himself out of the train of thought. It wasn’t important.   
Dean laid a hand on his shoulder, and shot him a worried look, but he just smiled in thanks. He was okay. Really, he was. It wasn’t time to dwell on things like that anyways, since Michael was about to start.

They all looked towards him.

Michael raised his arms to the sides, and began chanting.

Immediately, the whole place fell into silence. The unnatural kind of a thousand souls holding their breath, of still wind and still night.

The words were rolling off his tongue easy and fluent, gaining power. They wouldn’t need many ingredients for the ritual, only one.   
Michael reached into his jacket and took out his blade.  
Blood.

When they read Nick’s mind, they had seen what he had done to open the portal to the Empty. Circle of salt and herbs, those weren’t important to them, but the blood of a Nephilim, the power of a being that had in them both the grace of an archangel and the fuel of a human soul.

It sounded awfully familiar, and it didn’t take much time to realize what they had to do.

Never ceasing the chanting, Michael took the blade to his arm, and cut a long deep vertical line, from the crook of their elbow to the wrist. Adam’s soul from inside their mind recoiled at the pain, twisting away from it. They had dealt with a lot worse, but the blade was the only thing that could kill them, and feeling it break their skin and tissue scared him. But he trusted Michael with all he had, and he knew he would never make harm come to them. So, he steadied himself and got ready for the next step. Michael would need his help, and he was ready.

Blood flowed from the wounds, and their eyes illuminated with grace. With the last word, the air in front of them began to sizzle, before tearing open with a rush, and the portal to the Empty opened, a black gaping hole into nothingness. Tendrils of dark tar grasped at the edges, trying to engulf the very air that surrounded them, like a wild hungry creature. Michael kept the portal open steady with the blood pouring from their wounds. They couldn’t predict what would happen if left unchecked. It could close back, yes, but it could also open more and more, swallowing them all whole, destroying everything in its wake.

Michael could feel the power coming from it, and the emptiness of it scared him. But he knew his brothers were in there, he just had to find them.

He took a step back and closed his eyes. Raising a hand toward the portal, he called them.  
Michael could feel the Empty pulling him in, the rush of sheer nothing swallowing his grace, but he continued calling, reaching in, further and further down deep into the black.

It seemed impossible, to get to anything alive in there, and he guessed that was the point. It was an entire universe of nothing at all. It was terrifying, and at the same time, it called to him. To come and rest, sleep, be at peace for eternity.   
Michael hated how appealing that was.  
But still, he had to trust that someone was there, and as the Empty called to him, he called to his brothers, stretching his grace farther and deeper and more and _more_.

He called their names, their selves, he called their memories and their connection they all felt since the beginning of time, the emotions they all shared as one, the hurt and the betrayal and the regret and the Love. He called them over and over into the abyss, until. Until.

They called back.

He felt it, a small sliver of light, so weak and feeble, but there, reaching toward him. He stretched his grace as deep down as he could, and they reached up, up, up towards him. They were so close.  
With a last effort, Michael touched them. He clasped the connection and pulled.   
Dim eyes opened, one after another, and hands reached up. Mouths opened into a scream, as they slowly fought against the tar covering them. The Archangels woke up, and reached toward the light, toward Michael.

Adam could feel the joy radiating from Michael. He never felt anything like it coming from him, and it was so beautiful he could have cried.   
Their heart beat faster, and he smiled. They could do it. They could do it.  
Their connection intensified, and Adam looked as, from the gaping black hole, different pairs of tar-covered hands started to emerge. They were clawing at the air, strands of black pulling them back in.   
The Empty didn’t take gladly the escape attempt, and it was refusing to let go. As the hands reached out, the black strands thinned, and small spaces started to clear. From them, blinding white light could be seen, trying to break out, only to be covered once again by the black.   
Because even if by some miracle someone managed to wake up from the Eternal Sleep, leaving entirely was another thing. No one could leave the Empty.

But thanks to Amara, that rule of the universe was about to be broken.

Michael started chanting once again. Different words, more ancient, more powerful, too powerful to use even for him. But he wasn’t alone.  
Grace swelling with affection and gratitude and love, he reached inward and touched Adam’s soul.   
Like a live wire, a shock current went through the connection, and Michael’s eyes shone again with power, raw and unchecked, and so so much more powerful than anything else.  
The spell Amara gave them wasn’t something that could be executed, not even by an archangel, but thanks to their connection, his grace was fueled by the human’s soul, and Adam and Michael managed to reach a whole new level of strength. The words flowed from their mouths, and they spoke as one, as they ripped the empty away.

With a scream, the black tar started to retract, like it was being burned. Consumed, part of it disintegrated into thin air, while other pieces coiled back toward the portal, leaving behind the white light that was the pure grace of archangels. Hands kept pushing forward, losing the shape they were kept in before by the empty. Slowly, so slowly, more of them crossed the portal, and more of the tar was forced back in screaming outrage.

Michael’s hands were shaking with the effort of keeping the portal open for just a bit longer, while also separating the Empty from his brothers. He could feel it’s anger, the rush of power trying to overcome him. He never felt anything like it, and for a moment he feared he wasn’t strong enough.  
Just then, Adam felt his thoughts, and started to envelop his whole grace with his soul. He steadied their arms, and wrapped Michael into all he was, supporting him with renewed strength for those last seconds.

The last bit of grace pulled free from the black tendrils clinging to it, and the three angels rushed up into the sky, wild and free, rushing around them with a high pitched scream.

In a last effort, Michael sewered the energy of the spell, and the portal closed fast, leaving no evidence of it behind. They staggered and almost fell to the ground from exhaustion, their connection back to normal. Adam never felt so tired in his life, and he relied on Michael for standing up, barely conscious. Michael wasn’t much better, but he stood straight again, giving no sign of weakness.

He looked up. All the darkness was gone, the night brightened by the archangels, now free and alive, once again.  
The white grace burned in the air, twisting around shapeless and wild. Without the empty holding it into concrete forms, they lashed around like a tornado, whipping the earth and the air with force like nothing was meant to withstand. The whole field was illuminated, and the humans averted their eyes, and tried to protect their ears, not meant to see the pure grace of angels, or hear their cries. Castiel and Michael kept looking in awe, as the light shone brighter and brighter.

They couldn’t stay in that form however. Angels were meant to roam the earth in vessels for a reason, and Archangels were too powerful to just exist in that dimension without causing immense damage.  
Their presence caused the earth to shake, and rain began to pour from the sky with a boom of thunder. Michael felt the vibrations to his core, and knew that the wild force of his brothers would destroy that place if left free for much longer.

He called to them once again, shouting against the rain and wind and thunder.

“Brothers! I am here! Hear me!!” he screamed. His voice got carried away from the wind, but he knew he was reaching them anyways. He could feel them. He could finally feel them.

“Take the vessels, they are made for you! They are empty and blank, you can use them!”

Another lightning fell down, striking the ground, the crack of thunder loud and close. Even that felt dull in confront of the brightness of the archangels, the ringing of their voices intensifying.

“Please! You will destroy the place if you don’t! I am here! Brothers, hear me!!” Michael feared the worst. Maybe he was wrong, maybe his brothers had been divided for too long, and there wasn’t any chance of going back. Maybe they would just destroy the place and disappear once again, fleeing forever. Michael felt his brother’s eyes on him, and they understood.

After a second, two currents of grace flowed from the center of the light to the two bundles on the ground. They shook and rose from the earth, vaguely human shapes shining brighter and brighter and brighter, until it culminated in an explosion of white thunder, and just like that, the two of them disappeared.

One remained, twisting in the air in front of Michael. It spoke to him, in the only language it could. It spoke with rage, and hurt, and disbelief, and Michael smiled sadly at his brother.

“It’s okay Luci, it’s alright”

From the sides, Castiel was protecting Sam and Dean from the onslaught of thunder and power, but Nick was openly staring at the angels in the field. Once the lights that were Raphael and Grabriel disappeared in an explosion of power, he walked slowly toward the duo.

The grace didn’t have a form, but he felt it in his torn soul. It was him.   
He could recognize him anywhere, the singing of his grace, and his light, and his connection was calling to him.  
Nothing apparently changed as he got closer, but he could feel the eyes of his other half on him.

“..Lucifer”

The grace slowed down, and Nick could feel it. The sadness, and the desperation, and the disbelief.

“Yes, It’s me. I’m here, for you”

The light slowly got closer to him, stopping so they were facing each other. Nick smiled, tears coming down his face freely. The grace spoke with hope, and love.

“Hi,” he said, a sobbing laughter coming out of his mouth.

The white light hummed, and reached out, a phantom hand slowly caressing his cheek, drying his tears. It twisted in the air with a musical ring, a gentle question spoke only to the human in front of it.

Nick laughed tearfully, smiling “Like I would ever say anything different” he raised a hand, just shy of touching.  
“Yes. Always”

And with those words, Lucifer closed in, lightly touching his vessel’s lips in a feather kiss, before rushing in, and in, and in, filling finally the space he longed for a long time. Next to him, Nick sang with joy, and cried, with happiness, and all the hurt he felt rolled off of him, replaced by the bliss of finally being whole again.   
He could feel his angel in him, next to him, and he the two halves merged together in one, never to be divided again.

Nick’s body fell to the ground, and as the last bit of grace entered his being, the storm stopped. The heavy rain diminished into a trickle and into nothingness, the clouds clearing away, leaving space to the brightening sky.

As the Lightbringer and his human opened their eyes, the first rays of sun broke through the horizon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The one we've all been waiting for.  
(next chapter has some angst but it gets resolved immediately, promise)
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	7. Settling in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael thought how the humans were really the better part of them, and was so grateful for having Adam at his side.
> 
> Lucifer, for his part, thought exactly the same.
> 
> Because there was one thing that they didn’t account for, and that was what the presence of Nick would do to the angel once he was free.

The angels stared at each other for what felt like an eternity.

Lucifer had straightened with a sharp intake of breath, having settled in his vessel completely. It was a confused whirlwind of grace and emotion enveloping Nick’s frayed soul, and it was better than any of them could have ever imagined, fitting against each other and finally whole.

His power shone outwards, cooling the air around him. The grass under his feet froze, and the ground was covered in ice. Webs of frost crawled outward from behind his form, whisps of white stretching and consuming the field in the shape of wings and feathers.

Lucifer took a deep breath, and let out a freezing cloud, and spared a glance at the others around him, before his gaze settled on Michael.

No one dared breathe, no one moved. They were all waiting for something, anything to happen. Not sure if that meant screaming, fire and lightning raining from the sky, crying, or the brothers just straight up starting to punch each other in the face.

Lucifer’s expression was unreadable, closed off. Only his hands tightened into fists betrayed his tension.  
He had so much he wanted to say, a lifetime of rage and betrayal and guilt, but for some reason he couldn’t find the words now, his throat closed off. he tried swallowing to ease his tension, but only managed to lodge the knot deeper in his throat.  
Michael would have to talk first this time. If the little prince could even remember how to do that, he thought gritting his teeth.

He didn’t need to talk to see it, the damage from the cage on his brother. He didn’t know for how long he was dead for, but he could see the signs of hell in his grace still, and wondered if he would crumble under the pain or not.  
He was glad Michael managed to get out of there, somehow. They had fought each other long enough down there, both of them hurting each other and themselves in the process. No one pulled any punches, and if he had to add the torture from the cage itself, he was surprised to see his brother upright at all.  
No matter how much he resented him, he could never wish that imprisonment to anyone.

Still, he wouldn’t be the one to talk first.

Michael guessed as much. If he was anybody else, he would just see a blank mask where his brother stood. Having raised him since the beginning of time, he could see the tension, the anger radiating off of him. The line of his shoulders forcibly relaxed, but the tension in his arms, rigid by his side. Jaw clenched and eyes hard, cold daggers thrown in his direction.

He had to say something, something inspiring to convince him to be on their side, and to hopefully soothe any wound that was still festering in him.  
But truly, Michael’s head was empty, and he longed for the times where they didn’t need words to communicate, when they could speak to each other with their thoughts alone, waves of images and feelings and colors. He missed knowing what his brother was thinking all the time, just by being in his presence.

He truly missed that, and now he just wanted…He wanted to-

Michael took a step forward, closer. Seeing no reaction from Lucifer other than a twitch of an eyebrow, he took another, calm, slow, like he was approaching a scared animal. Hoping that the other wouldn’t lash out, or worse, run away.

He stopped in front of him, never looking away from his eyes.

He knew that his own expression matched his brother’s. Carefully blank, devoid of emotions, not showing feelings, like he was trained to do by their father as the commander of heaven.

An expression Lucifer saw so many times, witnessing his own family turning against him, and becoming cold, distant.

Nothing good ever came out of any of them hiding behind masks.  
Their Father’s lessons only brought them pain, and suffering.

It was time to break the circle.

Michael let his expression fall, slowly. Within a breath, heaven’s warrior was gone, replaced by only Michael, tired, hurt, overflowing with guilt, but also relief, at seeing his brother alive and okay.

He wanted to say how sorry he was, how much he loved Lucifer and all his brothers, how much he had missed them all. He wanted to kneel on the ground and cry at his brother’s feet.

He did none of that.  
Instead, he extended a hand between them, palm open in invitation.

Lucifer considered it for a moment, and watched his brother (finally, finally him, not a weapon, not a general, but really his family, broken and twisted and his). He saw the slump of his shoulders, and the shine in his eyes.

He considered his options. He could try and regain hell, but no doubt someone would come his way and destroy everything. Heaven was off-limits, given that his brothers were now alive once again, and they would never let him set foot there again.

He could run, get away from all of this, and be maybe free, but alone forever.  
Or he could, just for a moment, hope that things could go better, and just-

Lucifer moved slowly, and took his brother’s hand.

It wouldn’t solve anything, but maybe, maybe it could be the beginning.  
He nodded, and Michael smiled.  
That more than anything convinced him that he took the right decision.

Even with Lucifer on their side, nobody really felt safe for a while.  
Still, the days went by, with nothing changing.

Sam and Dean didn’t go on hunts, too worried about leaving Lucifer unchecked, and Castiel decided to stick by them, as if he could ever do anything to protect anybody, in case Lucifer ever decided to get violent.

Michael thought it was just foolish, but Adam found it cute.  
Whatever it was that was going on between the three of them, had been clearly solved, and they were once again talking to each other and protecting each other. Even if it was pretty stupid to try and defend themselves from an archangel.  
But Adam figured they succeeded many times before, so they had at least luck by their side.

Lucifer, for his part, didn’t care. At all.  
It took a while before he got settled, emotions running high with pretty much everybody in that moment. Things with Michael weren’t easy, but they had found a connection again, and they made a point of gradually getting closer to each other, as to not stress themselves too much and risk a fight, but also not letting the other get too far. It was the first time in forever the two of them had an agreement, and they were not about to let anything ruin that.

Michael, now that he could admit that their father was the true enemy, saw Lucifer’s rage at what happened, and could see his side of the story. For how much it hurt, to finally realize how wrong he had been and feeling the guilt threatening to crush him, Michael knew that it must have hurt far far more for Lucifer. He didn’t know if he could ever truly be forgiven, but he hoped against all odds, that he would be, one day.

For how much Adam reassured him that things were going to be alright between them, Michael was still worried things would never go back to normal.

And, even if he hated the part of himself that still saw his brother as the enemy, he was also worried Lucifer would betray them all and put a knife in his back.  
Maybe one day he would just get angry, more than usual, and decided he didn’t want to deal with them all anymore, and leave, or try to hurt someone, or something else equally bad.

Maybe he was too far gone, after all the years getting tortured with pain and isolation in hell, it was really too late. From what the Winchesters told him, Lucifer did change since the first time they opened the cage. If before he was cold as ice, all calculated rage and power, later he became, for lack of a better term, unhinged.  
Michael never saw his brother like that, angry and unthinking, and most of all lying. Maybe not outwardly, but in a scheming sort of way he never was.  
He remembered their time in heaven, and how they made a point of never lying to each other, because if they were all together, nothing could come between them.

Oh, how naïve he had been.

He looked at Lucifer now, and he was still angry and tense and, Michael hated seeing it in his eyes, scared. Their link was still new and weak, and they couldn’t know what the other was thinking, both still too uncertain and walking on eggshells to try and mend their relationship too fast, but he knew.  
He just wished he would talk to him, like they did back in heaven, so that he could just tell him that everything would be alright.

Adam was always there to tell him that he only needed more time, and that soon things would start to get better, because for how much they both had hurt each other, Adam felt how much Michael loved Lucifer, and he knew for a fact that he felt the same.

Michael thought how the human was really the better part of them, and was so grateful for having him at his side.

Lucifer, for his part, thought exactly the same.

Because there was one thing that they didn’t account for, and that was what the presence of Nick would do to the angel once he was free.  
They didn’t have the same sort of relationship Michael and Adam had. Adam would always keep Michael in check and wasn’t afraid of speaking up, while Nick, even if he would always be at his angel’s side to help, held a sort of reverence for him, and didn’t really want to ask for anything more than being united as they were.  
So, Nick wouldn’t come to the surface and talk like Adam would, they didn’t cohabit their body and mind at the same time, the human soul perfectly happy to just rest enveloped by grace.

Lucifer would have been happy to include Nick more, but he also understood that after everything that had happened to him, the guy probably needed some well-deserved rest.  
Still, he saw how Michael and Adam interacted and decided that in the future, if Nick ever wanted to, he would let him have anything, it being food or a drink or just walking around for a while (He would happily let him have control while killing demons or humans or anyone if he ever needed to blow off some steam, but it wasn’t time to think about that)

But still, they talked. Or more, communicated through emotions and memories and images.

When Nick first asked about his family, Lucifer didn’t know what to think.  
The tentative question was laced with hurt, and disbelief, and desperation. Nick didn’t want to believe what the demon said, he couldn’t. But he had to know. He didn’t know if he could ever get over it, but he was sure he wouldn’t until he knew the truth.

So he asked. Shy, terrified, soul aching and pain so deep he felt like his heart was splitting in two.  
Was it really him?

Lucifer was quick to envelop the human in his grace, trying uselessly to soothe the hurt that ran deeper than any wound ever could.

“No. No, never” he replied, speaking out loud in an empty room.  
“I didn’t know, Nick, I swear” he touched the wedding ring he still wore on his hand. He had left it on as a sign of respect, at first, and then as a reminder.

He didn’t give the order. He couldn’t communicate from the cage, except through complicated rituals to his more trusted demons, that were supposed to get Sam ready for him. Even then, he didn’t know what they had done until he had come out of the cage and witnessed the carnage that was Sam Winchester’s family.

But some higher demon must have felt like that wasn’t enough, and decided to get a second vessel ready for him in case things went wrong, convincing others that those were his instructions.

Lucifer had to be grateful for that, but had never ordered for the murders of his wife and child.

“Please. You have to believe me, Nick” he whispered. He needed the man to be on his side on this. He didn’t care for humans, and he would kill them when he needed to, but senseless murder was never something he took part in.

Demons, on the other hand, were creatures of violence, the worst parts of humans coming on the surface thanks to the years they spent in hell. They loved to just let themselves loose and cause as much suffering as they could.

Before he became desperate and broken himself, he told Nick that he didn’t lie. He didn’t need to, in order to get what he wanted, because he knew to be in the right.  
He only wished things could be as simple again.

If Nick truly believed that he could be the one behind the murders, then there really was no chance for him, and had to accept that he really was the monster everybody was convinced he was.

Lucifer closed his eyes, and waited for judgment.

“Alright” the soul replied, still shaking, but the hot blade in his heart changed into a dull pain that knew would never truly go away. Mourning after all, never truly ends.

Nick believed him, truly did. He knew now, what had happened. Who was responsible had paid, and with those words, it was finally over.

“Alright”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay, I still have to set a real schedule for publishing chapters.  
Hope you enjoy this chapter, it was originally much longer but I decided to split it in two for convenience.
> 
> Next up: Michael and Lucifer have a much-deserved chat


	8. Peace is always an option

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is afraid, Dean is nervous and Michael has to convince Lucifer that they're all on the same side.

Nick and Lucifer were together, finally.  
It was as if a weight was lifted off their shoulders. They talked and shared stories, closer than ever.

Lucifer saw all that Nick did to get him out of the empty, and then his death, and all that came after that. He felt the desperation and the hollowness. The madness and the tears he shed for him.

But he also saw how Michael and Adam had helped him, how they tried to make the pain stop and allowed them to be reunited when it would have been just as easy to kill him and have one less problem to deal with.

Nick, for all his rage and hatred he always felt, was thankful to Michael, and he genuinely thought that he was trying to do something good, and fix his mistakes.  
He was the one that urged Lucifer to try, just try and talk to him.

And so, one day, he did.

It wasn’t exactly planned, but he guessed that anytime was a good time. His mind was a mess, and wasn’t good at strategically planning things anymore, so he didn’t have anything ready to say, or to do, but all things considered, it didn’t go as bad as it could have.

It started, of course, with the Winchesters.

They didn’t like anything about the situation they were in. Dean thought it was pretty much getting from the pan to the fire, because now not only they had to worry about Chuck, but also about the Devil.  
He could acknowledge that Michael wasn’t much of a problem, considering Adam had him on a short leash (or at least he hoped so, because the alternative would be that his half-brother really just became one with an archangel and was okay with it, which was just too much for him to handle at the moment), but first Nick and now Lucifer? He was worried. For the world in general, but more urgently for himself and for Sam.

Because if Dean was uncomfortable, Sam was really just trying not to panic.

When they first came back to their bunker, he would have really liked to seal himself off in his room and never come out, and only the guilt he would feel at leaving his brother alone with the angels made him reluctantly show his face. Even then, it was for short periods of time, and he would just be tense, standing with his back leaning on a wall, always mindful of the exit points. Old habits die hard, and he hated that the place they now felt like calling home, was not safe anymore.

He had to remind himself to breathe, that he wasn’t in hell and that they wouldn’t hurt him. At least, that’s what he repeated in his head over and over again, every time he found himself in the room with Lucifer.

Surprisingly, he didn’t seem to want to turn the knife in the wound, or to even mock him or throw inappropriate comments, like he would have done before. Maybe it was Michael being there that had an effect on him. Maybe he was just bored of him and didn’t want to play anymore.

Sam would have very much liked that, he thought.

But things weren’t so simple. Lucifer may have chosen to stay clear of Sammy for the time being, not wanting to risk getting on everybody’s bad side so soon after being freed. He guessed that Michael and Adam already had their fair share of problems dealing with them all as they were, and had no need for fights to break out.

He knew that his time was counted with them, and that when he got to be too much of a nuisance, they would just stick a blade in his back, or worse, lock him up again. No one wanted to have the devil running free, it was just stupid to think they would ever let him go. But he wanted to have as much time as possible, just to see his brothers again, he wanted to at least try to make amends one last time, before whatever happened to him, happened.

Still, of course things would go wrong sooner or later.

He was searching for something to read, really, waiting with nothing to do was boring, and he didn’t feel like pestering Michael. Nick was still resting, and while they had a lot to talk about, he decided to just read while he waited for him to wake up.  
When he entered the library, he saw Sam there, but he figured that if he was a guest in their bunker, he wouldn’t leave a room because one human was there first.

And anyways, the room was big enough for two.

Sam didn’t feel the same, having the hairs on the base of his neck stand up when he felt the cold presence near him. He was still as stone for a while, not even breathing, but when Lucifer sighed and just walked past him to look at another section, he started moving again, intending to finish putting back the volumes he had left and then get out of there.

And really, after a bit, he found himself maybe not relaxing, but being less on edge than before, considering the other wasn’t even looking at him, just watching the shelves and occasionally taking a book out, turning a few pages and then putting it back with an unsatisfied noise.

Lucifer was growing frustrated fast, all the titles being boring or unpleasant. He knew from Nick’s memories, that that would have been the perfect time to ask a librarian for help, so, without thinking much about it, he did.

“Hey Sam” he turned to him just in time to see him jump about two feet in the air and almost drop his last load of books. He smirked. The kid really was jumpy.

“I don’t know what to read” he continued, waving to the surroundings “any suggestions?”

Sam pointedly looked anywhere but at him when he answered “well…uh….what- What do you like to read?”

“I have no idea” Lucifer shrugged “both the Cage and the Empty have a very scarce selection, you know”

“Right… Um. We don’t have a lot of fantasy or novels here, but we- We have a good history section, for. For research, it’s useful. If you want? Even if I guess you lived through most of it, so I don’t really…um…” he absolutely was not blabbering, he was just nervous.

“Not really, I only know what Nick knows, and he wasn’t a history fan I guess” he shrugged. When Sam looked up and (finally!) looked at him confused, he sighed.  
“Locked in hell since the beginning of humankind, remember Sammy? Couldn’t take vacation time from there”

“Don’t call me that”

“Right. Sam. Whatever” he huffed “So, what do you suggest?”

Sam looked for a moment at the right section, and picked a book from there. It wasn’t the thickest one, but it was bound to still keep him occupied for a while. And it did have illustrations and photographs from archeologic sites. It was a pretty good book.

“this one is about Egyptian art and history, I think you’d like it”

Lucifer walked closer, a rare genuine smile on his face. It was the first piece of conversation he had with someone that didn’t include threats or pain. He was surprised at how nice it was. He was taking the book from Sam’s hands, when Dean walked in.

He, of course, misunderstood the situation completely, and in true Winchester fashion, he went “shoot first, questions later”.  
Quite literally

Lucifer didn’t scream when the bullet pierced his shoulder, but he did jump back with a grunt, glaring at Dean. Sam was looking around wildly, before following the angel’s gaze to his brother.

Dean was furious, and kept the gun trained at the angel.

“You stay away from him!” He spat, and took aim, probably intending to fire a second shot.

Lucifer frowned and rubbed his shoulder “ow! Why would you-“

“Stay! Away!” Dean took a couple of steps closer, now even more angry.

Sam took a couple of steps back, trying to calm his brother down “Dean, he wasn’t, we weren’t-“

“Of course he wasn’t. Like he wasn’t last time and the time before that” dean interrupted, never taking his eyes off of Lucifer.

“Seriously Dean, overprotective brother I understand, but isn’t this a bit much? I wasn’t doing anything” the angel tried to defend himself, but Dean was having none of it.

“Shut up! You don’t get to decide what you did or didn’t do. Stay away from Sam!”

Lucifer got tired fast of being bossed around, especially by some human “Oh yeah? Or what.” He smirked at the man and at his stupid gun “you gonna shoot me with that thing again?”

“No, I’ll lock you up in a really small box and throw you into the ocean. I don’t even know why we let you in here in the first place” he grunted  
“You won’t help, you will just cause more destruction and pain for everybody. Should’ve stayed dead for all we care”

By the end of that, Dean was almost shouting, and from all the commotion, Michael came flying in, alert and ready. The scene he stumbled upon wasn’t something he was expecting.

“What is happening here exactly” he immediately asked, voice dark and commanding. Being an older brother and commander of an army had it’s advantages, one being that everybody listened to him when he talked.

“Nothing! Nothing is happening, Dean is just exaggerating the whole thing” Sam tried to defuse the situation, but his brother disagreed.

“No. It’s enough Sam!” Dean shouted “He should not be here!” he pointed his gun at Lucifer again, “he is too dangerous to be kept free. He should be in chains, or in a box, or better yet dead”

Lucifer growled at Dean, and was about to get really up close and personal with him, when Michael put himself between the two.

“Get out of the way, I don’t want to shoot you”

“You know that thing won’t hurt either of us right”

“It’s about the principle. And the satisfaction that putting a bullet between that asshole’s eyes will bring me”

“Dean-” Michael sighed “Remember who the bigger enemy is here,” he said, raising his hands in a placating gesture.  
“I can’t help you without Lucifer as well. We need to be all there” he placed a hand on the muzzle of the gun, lowering it, “I need him for this”.

Dean looked finally at Michael, and took a calming breath, relaxing his shoulders slightly. He gave a small nod, and Michael was certain he understood.

Before he could turn back, Lucifer was gone in a rush of cold wind, leaving only the faint smell of snow behind.

Michael looked one last time at the Winchesters, before following him. In the room remained the brothers, their hearts still racing, looking around at the mess. Scattered pages from the beat of wings, and the history book, forgotten on the ground where it fell from Sam and Lucifer’s hands, open on the floor and splattered with blood.

Nick had been asleep for a while, or, as much as he could be out of consciousness when you were only a soul. Disconnected to his body, and just basking in his angel’s presence, so that he could rest and heal.

But when he felt the grace around him become distressed, he slowly woke up. He didn’t know what was going on, but even if he couldn’t help, he wasn’t going to leave Lucifer to deal with it alone. He knew for a fact he had been alone long enough, and now he swore to himself he would never leave him again.

When he came to from his sleep, he felt first aware of the cold. Under his feet and against his face. It didn’t bother him, but it was clear they weren’t in the bunker anymore. When Nick became aware of his body completely, and saw through his eyes again, the stunning view made him pause. They were on the top of a mountain, and they were surrounded by white and ice in every direction.

It was snowing, small ice crystals falling in his hair and on his clothes, bringing the eerie silence that came only with falling snow. Above them the sky was dark, big clouds shifting and turning in a swirl of white and grey, a storm slowly forming. He could see other mountain peaks in the distance, white and grey and stunning.  
It was like nothing he had ever seen, and he was breathless. He thought about it was only thanks to being bound to an angel that he could even be there, the cold too harsh and the air too thin for any human to be there like he was. Another thing to thank Lucifer for.

In his moments of anger, Nick had often thanked Lucifer for the power he gave him, for the strength and the blood he had spilled. But it wasn’t just that. Lucifer made him complete, he gave him meaning and made him see the beauty life had to offer, even to a beaten broken human like himself.

He was his light, and he would cherish it and protect it, for as long as he let him.

That’s why feeling his anguish caused him almost physical pain. It was a weird sensation, having an archangel’s grace with him. To anybody else, it would feel crushing, the being taking up so much space and having an impossibly big presence in his mind. To him, it felt like an embrace, like being cradled against warmth and pulsating energy. But now, it was shifting and rippling in distress, the light dimming momentarily only to flare up a moment later.

He tried to soothe it, gently pushed a question toward him, laced with worry and care. He didn’t know what happened, but wanted to help.

Lucifer felt it and immediately relaxed. He didn’t mean to wake Nick so soon, but he was glad he did. He would never admit how much it hurt and scared him being alone, but he had a feeling that Nick knew anyways.

So, he gently moved with the soul, letting it carefully support him and warm his freezing heart with waves of care and gentleness. He shared with it his emotions and the memories of what happened, the fear and the anger and the stabbing pain of sadness. He felt Nick’s soul flare up in rage and pushing closer to him in an attempt to protect him from his own pain.

Lucifer faintly smiled at that. Having someone in his corner felt…nice. He really wasn’t used to that. Everybody in his family hated him, and loyalty from demons was born through respect, for some, but most of all fear. But he knew that this human wasn’t like that, he couldn’t lie to him if he tried, and he only felt wave after wave of affection and righteous anger not toward him, but for him.  
Yes, it was nice.

Lucifer felt Michael approaching shortly before the beat of wings announced his presence. He thought about flying away again, but he guessed that he would just keep following, and eventually catch up.

So he sighed, and merely assured the angry soul that it was alright, everything would be okay.

“Came here to shout at me as well?” he asked in a seemingly bored tone.

“No, I came here to talk” Michael replied. He sighed, tilting his head “how’s your shoulder?”

Lucifer snorted “like any stupid human gun could ever do anything to me”

“right..” he really didn’t know how to do this. Adam gently pushed him forward, giving him the courage to speak up  
“You can’t antagonize the Winchesters” he began, trying to use a gentle tone.  
“I know they can be…tiring, at times, but try not to get on their bad side”

“Oh, so there is a good side?” Lucifer turned around, facing his brother “here I thought they were like that with everybody, shooting people for no reason”

“Hm, very hidden, but yes, there is a good side. Although you’ll never find it if you keep trying to get in trouble”

“Trying to-? I wasn’t doing anything!” he gestured around “Sam was giving me a book, for heaven’s sake, it’s Dean who just waltzed in and attacked me!”

Michael glared at him “Maybe not intentionally, but you really can’t blame either of them for their behavior”

“Really?! I am the one with the bullet in his shoulder and somehow it’s my fault?!”

“I said ‘not intentionally!’ But you were their enemy up until a couple of months ago, so it’s understandable” he knew firsthand how hard it was to let go of the past, and surely working with either of them couldn’t be easy for the humans. They did try to ruin their lives more than once, and the wounds had yet to heal.

“Oh don’t give me that, you were their enemy too. Only now, you’ve got one of them with you, so you have to be one of their little gang, right?”

Michael got angry at that. He wouldn’t let him bring Adam into this “They left us to rot in hell for centuries! Do you really think that’s something either of us are going to forgive them for so easily?!”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Poor Adam, left in hell for years by his own brothers. I can’t _imagine_ what that felt like!” The cold around them picked up, wind and snow swirling around faster, the angel’s grace lashing out with the element.

Michael grimaced “I brought you back from the Empty, Lucifer. I was hoping that would count for something” he frowned. He had revived Nick as well, and went against everything he once believed was right. Did his brother not see that he was trying?

“Yeah, and still, you don’t really want me here, do you” Lucifer said, tone cold as the ice that surrounded them.

“Of course I want you here! What are you saying?!” Michael shook his head. He wasn’t making any sense!

“No, you said that you ‘Need’ me, that’s different!” his tone picked up, matching the harsh wind

“What are you even talking about?!”

“Before, with the Winchesters, you said you ‘Need me’! But do you even want me here Michael? Or would you rather I stayed dead? But couldn’t bring the others back without me so you had to settle for the whole package, right?!”

“What? No, of course not, I want you here, with me, we have to stop Father from ending the world, we-“

“Yeah? And what then?” he threw his arms out “I am always going to be the bad guy! After that is done, do I become the ‘Bigger enemy’ then? You’re just gonna just use me for a bit before throwing me away? Or is there someone else that needs to be killed before you decide it’s my turn?!” He was shouting now, angry and hurt, even if really, what else should he have expected? Forgiveness? Peace? It was only a dream.

“What are you talking about? I don’t want to fight you anymore, I don’t want you dead!” Michael was raising his voice as well, getting frustrated. Why couldn’t he understand? All the pain he went through, they all went through, he would never do that again.

“Oh, so you’ll just put me in a box, lock me up somewhere” Lucifer spat “I’d rather you kill me now than go through that again!” he balled his hands into fists, shaking with rage.

“No. No Luci, never-“

“Don’t call me that!” He shouted “You don’t get to call me that! You don’t get to be my brother again just so one day you can stab me in the back! You- You can’t!” his voice broke then, and paused, getting his breathing under control. He couldn’t show weakness now. The storm was raging, wind howling and snow hitting them from all directions.

“How much time do I have, before you decide I’m not worth the effort,” Lucifer asked, all the heat from his voice gone. His shoulders slumped, “Even if we do manage to get rid of God, how much longer until you don’t need me anymore” he kept looking at Michael, his heart open to see.

Michael felt like his grace was being ripped open. Was that what he thought? That he would just use him and then cast him aside when he wasn’t useful anymore? He felt his eyes sting, and it wasn’t from the cold. He remembered heaven, the days that led to the Fall, and realized that this, this was just history repeating again. But he wouldn’t make the same mistakes. He wouldn’t.

Lucifer smiled sadly at his brother, voice shaking as he talked  
“Will you let me see our home first, Michael? Walk in the gardens, fly through the skies? Will you- Will you let me say goodbye to Gabriel and Raphael this time?” he could feel his eyes sting, and his throat close up. Only Nick inside him was keeping him there, the pain was too overwhelming for him to bear alone. He felt like he was being torn to shreds, and he was doing it all by himself.

Maybe it was the vulnerable state he was in, maybe he was distracted and tired, but he hadn't noticed Michael moving until he was almost knocked over from the force of the hug. He didn’t move, didn’t breathe, just stared at nothing from above his brother’s shoulder. He could feel the impossible heat of him, right against his chest, and on his back where his hands were gripping his shirt. He could feel hair tickling the side of his face, and trembling breaths against his neck.

“…I’m sorry” whispered Michael.  
“I am so, so sorry” he repeated, gripping his brother tighter. “I should have never done that, I should have never betrayed you, should have never left you, any of you”  
He closed his eyes. He remembered how he had felt, thinking that he was in the right, having his perfect vision of the world in which it was only hero and villain. Feeling nothing, just following orders, saved him from the pain, but it was so empty, he could never go back.  
And then there was hell, and the cage, years and years of pain and torture and madness. Isolated from heaven and from the light, waiting for a salvation that would never come. He surely would have gone mad if it wasn’t for Adam (beautiful fragile human Adam, fighting hell with him and coming out the other side. Strong like nobody else, that could love him even after he had condemned him to a lifetime of pain).  
Thinking that Lucifer had been down there completely alone for millennia, screaming for help, while they all just stood there and did nothing, made him cling to his brother tighter.

“Never again. I won’t let anything happen to you. Luci please” he said, hiding his face on his brother’s shoulder “I am so, so sorry. Please, believe me”

He couldn’t lose him again. He wouldn’t bear it. He desperately needed to be believed, for him to know that he has changed, and he would never, ever commit the same mistakes. He only wanted things to be okay again.

When he felt Lucifer’s arms circling his back, he could have sung with joy.

“..okay” the other whispered, and swallowed down the knot in his throat. Michael was tense, trying not to shake against him, his grace in distress like he had never felt before. He knew what Michael was like when he was lying, and this. This wasn’t it. He allowed hope to slither its way into his heart, and it took root there, slowly fueled by the warmth of his brother’s embrace.

“They will always hate me” he said, holding onto his brother “They will always try to kill me”

Michael nodded. They couldn’t erase the past, and couldn’t change what the humans thought of them all, but this time. This time they’d be together, and nothing could come between them  
“I’ll protect you, Luci. I will always protect you”

Lucifer nodded, and closed his eyes, turning his face in Michael’s hair. If any of them felt their shirts getting wet with tears, they said nothing, and allowed themselves that small moment of peace.

The brothers stayed like that, in each other’s arms, for a long time. Breathing each other in, feeling what they had longed for in the past thousand years. A connection. Real, strong, healing. Their graces circled each other, for the first time in so long not trying to hurt and kill, but singing, dancing together. They stayed like that until they remembered what it felt like to be embraced by their family, until the raging storm passed and a few rays of sunlight filtered through the clouds. And when they hit the frozen snow around them, it shone brighter than ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always to my beta blomvonar (@midamspn on tumblr), who puts up with me all the time hah  
Comments are greatly appreciated!  
Next-up: the humans have a day for themselves.


	9. Sam and Nick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam wasn’t prepared for this conversation, wasn’t prepared to talk about the biggest trauma of his life with the face that he associated it with. His hands wouldn’t stop shaking, and his heart was beating so fast, it felt like it was about to burst out of his chest.  
...  
“What is that you remember, exactly?”

After Lucifer had left, Sam refused to feel guilty. It wasn’t his fault if things escalated that quickly, and he had every right to be afraid of the angel anyways. Even then, he did try to calm everyone down, even if he did want to side with Dean on the whole situation. He didn’t want Lucifer in the bunker, hell, he didn’t want him even alive.

So then, why did he feel like he betrayed someone?

He didn’t know, but that night he spent a lot of time tossing and turning, debating if he should apologize, but for what, when he didn’t do anything? Maybe speak on behalf of his brother, but he knew that Dean didn’t have any of his problems, and wasn’t sorry in the slightest.   
Still, it couldn’t hurt to try and not anger the devil even more than they already did. Even if it meant…talking to him.

In the morning, when Sam woke up, he decided that the next time he happened to be alone in the same room with Lucifer, he would try to talk. If that didn’t happen for weeks or months, well, it couldn’t be his fault and so his conscience was clean anyways.

He got dressed and headed to the kitchen for coffee.

What was the chance to stumble on him just chilling in the bunker, after Dean threatened to lock him up or kill him? Sam figured not many.

Sam was also very wrong.

When he stepped in the kitchen with a yawn, fully convinced to find his brother making breakfast, given the smell of coffee and bacon that brought him out of his room in the first place, he instead found Lucifer, casually leaning on a counter, looking sleepy and sipping a cup of coffee.

They looked at each other, and Lucifer just blinked and continued drinking.

“Morning” Sam murmured “Can I-“ he gestured to the coffee pot, still half full and hot.

“Help yourself” the other replied, scooting further away as to leave Sam a bit of moving space.

Sam was tense as he approached, no matter how innocuous he seemed right now, half-closed eyes and very much relaxed, he knew from experience that didn’t mean he wasn’t still incredibly dangerous.   
The idea that he had to talk to the guy scared him, maybe not as much as it should, but he figured he did just wake up. So, he went and filled a cup for himself, before glancing at the sizzling pan beside them. A plate of eggs was already done and waiting next to it.

“I didn’t know you ate. Or drank coffee, really” he guessed an icebreaker was needed. Better see the mood he was in, before attempting to breach possibly sensitive subjects.

“He doesn’t. I do” he replied with a shrug.

Sam blinked “uh…sorry, what?”

“He doesn’t drink coffee. I do” he repeated, looking at Sam.

“what- oh. Nick?”

“Morning” he smirked from behind the lid of his cup.

“Didn’t know you were…awake, in there” he awkwardly gestured to his body. He didn’t know if talking to Nick was better or worse than talking to Lucifer, given that they did try to kill each other not too long ago. But at least he wasn’t in danger of being disintegrated with a snap of fingers, so it was something.

“I wasn’t for a while. Had to sleep to regain energy, I think. Woke up a couple of hours ago”

That explained the sleepy expression at least. Must take a while before getting used to being in control of his own body again.  
“So Lucifer is…?”

“Asleep. Well, more like resting. Still conscious, just laying back for a bit. He’s had a rough night” he said, tone very cold all of a sudden. He was half-glaring at Sam.   
He seemed to take a breath then, and resumed staring into space, taking another sip of coffee.  
“I decided I missed coffee and to have some even if technically I don’t need to eat or drink” he glanced at the bacon, now almost done “I don’t know why I cooked that though, I don’t even like bacon and eggs. Just missed human things like cooking, I suppose” he sighed, eyebrows pinched into a sad expression for a moment, before smoothing out “you can have it if you want. I promise I didn’t poison it”

Sam considered his options, and guessed that really, if Nick wanted him dead, he was sure he could have used literally any other method other than “poisoned breakfast”

And it did save him the trouble of cooking it by himself.

So he took a plate and served himself to the eggs and bacon. Sitting down he felt a bit silly, eating a meal prepared by someone that he very much hated (or was supposed to, anyway), currently watching him from a couple of meters away.

He took a bite and had to do a double-take, because that was seriously better than what he expected. Sam was used to good food, his brother being skilled at making meals for them both since he could remember, but this had a sort of homey kind-of feeling he just wasn’t expecting from someone like Nick.

“This…This is good!” he told him, mouth still half full, already cutting the next bite.  
He saw Nick smile with something like sad longing in his expression, before he cleared his throat and looked away “Thanks” he said, turning away to wash his now empty cup.

Sam thought that all and all, Nick felt much easier to talk to than Lucifer, and that maybe he could get him to smooth things over with the angel, since he was currently unavailable to talk to.

“Nick, about yesterday…” he began.

“What about it?” Nick said forcefully, putting down the now clean cup with a bit more force than strictly necessary.

Okay, so he was mad “I wanted to…apologize. Lucifer didn’t do anything wrong, and we all just overreacted for nothing. I- Dean didn’t mean what he said, really, and I mean-“

Nick sighed, interrupting his rambling “It’s okay” he turned to look at Sam, who was pushing bits of eggs around the plate, not looking at him.  
“It wasn’t your fault. You were being…nice. To Lucifer, and while your brother did, in fact, mean all that he said, it isn’t anything unexpected from him” he said, looking like he had to force out every word.

Sam nodded “So Lucifer isn’t…mad? At me, I mean”

Nick snorted, laying back on the counter and crossing his arms.  
“Him? Mad at you? I don’t think he even knows how”

Sam looked up in surprise “What do you mean?”

Nick sighed “He is never mad at you, Sam, not even when he should. He seems to always forgive anything you do” he finished, frowning and stubbornly looking away.

Sam at that point couldn’t do anything other than laugh. Bitter, choked up laughter  
“Yeah, because a thousand years' worth of torture really sounds like forgiveness to me”

Nick looked sad, all of a sudden, and Sam hated that he recognized the expression as one that Lucifer used so much, back when they met him the first time.

“Is that really what you think he did?”

“What do you mean? I know what happened! Don’t try and twist it around, I remember everything he did to me, I wake up screaming every night because of what he did!” he didn’t mean to get angry, or for his voice to sound so shaky, but Sam wasn’t prepared for this conversation, wasn’t prepared to talk about the biggest trauma of his life with the face that he associated it with. His hands wouldn’t stop shaking, and his heart was beating so fast, it felt like it was about to burst out of his chest.

Nick, on the other hand, was as calm as ever, and only the rigidity of his stance gave away that the conversation was affecting him as well.  
When he talked, he seemed to measure every word.  
“What is that you remember, exactly?”

Sam didn’t want to think about it, really didn’t. He only wanted to run and stay and his room, backed in a corner until the panic would fade away, until he could breathe again. But somehow, somehow he didn’t.

“I remember- “ he began, swallowing to keep his voice in check “I remember the heat. Chains and hooks maybe were only a hallucination, I don’t know anymore. But I- I remember the pain, and the screams, and the blood. Those were real. And the fire. I remember what it feels like to burn alive” he finished in a whisper, as if speaking too loudly could make everything come back. He closed his hands into fists, and stayed perfectly still, waiting for something to happen. For the ground to open and swallow him up, for the pain to start again, for Nick to suddenly transform into the devil he knew and eat him alive.

But the man in front of him just nodded.

“I know you think he did that, but. He tried to protect you. I don’t know the details, he never told me, prideful being that he is. But I know, he never hurt you. Even in his moments of pure madness, he only tried to save you from it.”

Sam stood up, facing Nick in righteous fury. Even the small height advantage he had made him feel much better already, even if he knew it meant nothing. Still, staring down at him felt better than sitting on a chair.

How dare he. How dare he minimize his pain, all that he went through, all that he suffered.

“I was without a soul for an entire year! When they put me back together, I hallucinated so badly they had to put me in a mental hospital, and even then I was about to die from it! Ten years later, I still wake up screaming, because I can’t tell if the nightmares are real! Does that look like protection to you?!” He ended up almost screaming at Nick’s face, who remained as impassible as ever, chin raised and proud. He either really thought he was in the right, or he just didn’t care. Sam wasn’t sure which one would have been better.

Nick huffed, shaking his head.

“A few hallucinations and nightmares, that’s what you think the cage does to a human trapped there for a year? You should be a drooling mess on a bed, Sam. You shouldn’t be able to eat or drink, your brain should be so fried it shouldn’t know how to work your body anymore.”   
He pointed to his chest, and they were so close he could almost touch him “Your soul should be darker than a demon’s, and your body constantly in pain so severe you should wish you were dead every second you're awake.”

Nick abandoned his place from the counter to stand up to his full height and faced Sam head-on.

“You came out walking and talking from the deepest part of hell. The cage is a place designed to torture and drive an archangel to madness, Sam. Lucifer was trapped there alone since the beginning of humanity, he barely made it out sane. Michael was there for a much shorter time and isn’t all there himself from what I heard.

"Adam and me, we are helping them remain grounded, or they would just spiral back into something else entirely. And you, simple human that you are, you think you survived that by yourself? _Please_” he scoffed.

Sam frowned. He wasn’t sure where the conversation was going anymore.  
“What do you mean by that? Lucifer has always been crazy, he tried to end the world more than once!”

“No. No he hasn’t.” Nick pointed a finger toward Sam in accusation.  
“You’re telling me that you really didn’t notice a difference from when you first met him and the last time? You didn’t notice how he talked and moved, how different he acted.   
Before, he wanted to end humanity to clean up the world of a plague, and even then he would have walked away if his brother had let him. A few years later, and he wanted to burn it all down. That’s not him.  
I don’t know what exactly happened in there when you were trapped together, I only know that in order to save you from the cage, Lucifer gave up his own sanity. Or, well, part of it for sure.”

“But even then, you were with him! And you didn’t try to stop it? Why??” Sam raised his hands “It’s your world too! You were just gonna watch him tearing it all apart?”

Nick did look embarrassed then, looking away with a frown.

“I was…angry. I felt like he had abandoned me to run away with some other vessels. And when he was forced back to me, it felt…wrong. I don’t know if it was what Crowley did, or something else, but… He was angry, and I was angry so, I guess I just didn’t care what happened anymore” he shrugged, as if that excused all that happened. Maybe to him it did.

They both stayed silent after that, tense and angry, Nick twisted his mouth as if he wanted to say more but kept himself back.  
Sam didn’t care. He didn’t care about excuses. He still couldn’t wrap his head around what he was told, but one thing he was sure of.

“I don’t believe you.”

He didn’t get a response, and Nick stayed still as a statue. shoulders tense and teeth clenched.

“Lucifer never tried to protect me, why would he-“

“Because he Loved you, Sam!” Nick shouted. He bared his teeth at him, angry and resentful “He loved you so much, and you didn’t even see that. He promised you the world, and sacrificed himself just for you.  
He- he loved you more than anything else, more…more than anyone else” he looked away then, jaw clenched and eyes shining. He took a breath before continuing.

“Now things are different. You. You abandoned him, and I was the one that tried to save him. He is with me now, and forever” he nodded “I know he loves me, I can feel it with every breath I take. It will never be in the same way that was with you, the perfect vessel created for him at the beginning of time” he spat out the words with venom.  
“But maybe- maybe that’s okay. He loves me in our way, that’s not dictated by God or destiny or anyone other than ourselves”

Sam didn’t know how to react to that. But he didn’t care about what Nick said, only that he somehow made it sound like it was his fault what happened. He talked about abandonment, like he owed Lucifer anything for ruining his life. And he wanted him to believe the devil loved him. Him, Sam, the boy with the demon blood. Obsessed, maybe, but loved? That was a joke.

Sam shook his head, fixing Nick with a hard glare.

“I’m the one that stopped his plans, and trapped him in the cage. He burned me alive because of that”

Nick returned the glare with the same intensity, only softening after a beat or two. He was clearly trying to keep himself in check, and Sam was surprised to see that in action. Both Nick and Lucifer were really different now that they were together than the last time he saw either of them.

“It’s not my place to try to convince you,” he said, measuring every word “but Sam, as I’m sure you remember from his time with him, Lucifer burns cold.” He looked at him with a weird intensity behind his eyes “He is ice and snow and freezing grace, so cold so deep it settles into your bones. If all you can really remember is burning and fire, don’t you think that means something?”

He didn’t leave Sam the time to reply before he just walked past him and out of the room. Sam wanted to grab him by the wrist and make him explain himself, but he was also just so angry and tired, he wasn’t sure that continuing the conversation wouldn’t evolve into throwing punches at each other.

He took a breath, still standing in the middle of the kitchen. He would need time to process what Nick told him. Maybe, he reasoned, maybe it was all a trick and that was just Lucifer trying to get into his head. Or maybe there was some truth to what Nick said.

Sam thought about all the conversations he had with Lucifer, all laced with venom and anger and also sadness. At what they were, and at what they could have been.   
They never really talked about what happened in the cage, if he didn’t count the pair of inappropriate comments Lucifer would throw to get a rise out of him.

But still, even if he tried to defend himself and tell him what Nick just said, Sam figured he would have never believed him. Why would he, after all? He was the devil, he couldn’t be trusted. All he did was hurt and lie and kill. Sam thought about Nick, how different he seemed now, how…at peace. Like a weight was lifted from his shoulders.  
Already he didn’t know if that was the truth anymore.

Dean came into the kitchen with a yawn, and seeing Sam standing silently in the middle of the room, asked

“Everything alright there?”

Sam shook himself awake and smiled at his brother. It didn’t reach his eyes, but he hoped it was enough.  
“Yeah, don’t worry about it. Want some coffee?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In other news, I am bitter about how Lucifer's character was treated but I try to make some sense of it.  
Thank you for reading! comments are always appreciated <3
> 
> Next-up: After the conversation with Sam, Nick has some quiet time with Adam


	10. Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam couldn’t help but choke on his laughter, and Nick shot up with a betrayed expression  
“C’mon, it’s not funny!”  
“Sorry, sorry, just-“ he snorted, covering his mouth until the shaking laugh passed. Seeing Nick, a big strong man with the literal Devil inside him, being embarrassed as a highschool girl was really something.

Nick walked around the corridors toward the library, trying to shake the feeling of the conversation he just had with Sam. He could feel himself almost shaking with the kind of energy that coursed through him. It hadn’t been easy, to say any of that, but he was glad he did. Things were just starting to get better, he would be damned if a grudge with a human was the thing that brought it all down.

Even if said human was a Winchester, and with them, things never, _ever_ went smoothly.

Nick knew that his talk with the man didn’t really solve anything, but he hoped that it could be the beginning of a somewhat peaceful relationship.

Even if God, he really wanted to punch his pretty face. He imagined just for a second, what it would feel to just let go to the rage and just. Snap. Find a weapon and bring his fury down on those who ruined everything for him. It would feel good, he guessed, so very satisfying.

The calm presence of the angel inside him brought him out of that train of thought, cooling down his anger.

Nick smiled apologetically and pushed closer to the grace.

Lucifer had been asleep for a while now, but he was still there and present. It wasn’t really sleeping like the humans did, he guessed it was maybe more like meditating, or something like that, in order to bring himself centered into their plane of existence, or…something equally complicated that Nick really didn’t want to know.

Lucifer tried to explain it best he could, before leaving him control of his body, but it didn’t change a thing. Nick was awake and Lucifer wasn’t. Simple as that.

Waking up and making breakfast was just something his body knew how to do, habits of another life entirely, getting the coffee pot going and making food for-

He didn’t think it would make him feel that raw and open. And seeing Sam eating it, just brought a lot of memories back. Things he didn’t even know he remembered.

Maybe that was why in the end he ended up talking more than he intended.

When that happened, words coming up his throat raw and painful, Nick could feel the angel waking up in distress, and tried to just reassure him that things were okay. Lucifer, after all, didn’t want to talk to Sam, especially about…all of that.

Nick really didn’t want to talk to him either, but once he began, he realized he couldn’t stop. He had so much bottled up, it all came rushing up and out of his mouth before he could do anything about it.

He was just angry. At his behalf, yes, because what happened to him wasn’t right, but especially for Lucifer.

He could see the hatred in everybody’s eyes when they looked or talked about him, and he couldn’t help but try to defend him, to take his side. And now that he could feel the sadness and just acceptance on Lucifer’s part, he was even more determined to not let anyone hurt him.

His angel, he thought with a smile. It was his angel now.

Nick sat in one of the armchairs, soft and comfortable, and closed his eyes. He didn’t really want to read, he just needed some quiet place to wind down.

He lightly touched his own chest and imagined that he could feel Lucifer’s grace curled up between his ribs, in his lungs, around his beating heart. Humming, making him whole. The gaping hole that was left in him when Lucifer died had been filled, and even if the wound was far from healed, it was a process, and the cool presence in him was like a soothing balm for his soul.

He could only hope that he was having the same effect on the angel. He hated that he would never be the perfect vessel that Lucifer was promised, that they didn’t have that unique connection, and he resented Sam so, so much because he wasted an opportunity he never had.

Nick sighed. Even if it hurt to admit, he was jealous. It was childish, maybe, considering that now Lucifer wasn’t with Sam, but he still was. He wanted the angel for himself, and no one else.   
In his weakest moments, he thought that maybe, maybe the feeling wasn’t mutual, and that Lucifer would have liked to be with Sam best, or anyone else, and that he wasn’t special after all.

He loved Lucifer so much, and still, there were the ever-present whispers of doubt he couldn’t help but feel.

Just as he thought that, Lucifer connected with him, sending wave after wave of affection and reassurance that yes. He was loved, he had nothing to fear, and Nick smiled, a hand still over his heart. Their heart.

Quieting down, the angel faded back into sleep, and the man closed his eyes and followed.

It was like that, that Adam found him.

They just came back from their trips around the world, looking for signs of his brothers. Michael was worried, they hadn’t heard anything still and he was beginning to doubt that his brothers even wanted to come back to him

“Maybe they don’t want to be around me,” he thought endlessly “Maybe I’ve done too much and they left for good”. Maybe Chuck had gotten them before they could come back, or the vessels were faulty somehow. He would go over everything they did, trying to find a flaw in the rituals, to see if it could be that they simply couldn’t come back for some reason.

He still couldn’t feel them in the universe either. Their connection was broken still, but he should have been able to feel them just being, existing somewhere, even if out of his reach. He could feel Lucifer now, in the bunker with them, and that itself was a breath of fresh air, a weight lifted off his shoulders. Now that they managed to talk, finally, honest with each other for the first time in forever, now he could almost feel their broken link starting to form again.   
Feeling his brother by his side, and whispers of emotions coming from him, was something he didn’t know how much he missed.

Still, they agreed on giving each other space, and time.

For now, all they had to do was wait for Gabriel and Raphael to form their vessels and get their graces used to the living world, before coming back. Hopefully.

Adam was always ready to reassure him that things were alright, that they would always come back, and that soon they would see signs of them. They just had to wait.

So wait they did.

Michael was tired and upset after their latest trip, he wanted to keep searching, keep moving, but Adam convinced him to lay down for a moment. Even if their power was almost infinite, he knew that the angel needed rest, needed to calm down and focus on himself for just a second.

He managed to get him to see reason, so now Michael was resting in the back of their shared mind, and Adam aimlessly walked around. He also thought about laying down for a moment. Not sleeping, since he really didn’t get tired anymore, but just sitting down somewhere comfortable and have some tea or a hot chocolate.

On his way to the kitchen, he stumbled upon Nick.

The man was seemingly asleep on an armchair, relaxed half curled upon himself, in a position so unbelievably human, Adam had no doubt that was in fact Nick in front of him. He figured that Lucifer was asleep somewhere, resting as well, and he was just glad that the two had finally found their peace.

Adam sat in the place in front of Nick, in another similar armchair. The whole bunker was decorated in a very antique way, and as much as it resembled more of a museum than anything else, those plush chairs, with the comfy fluffy backrest, were really wonderful.

But also really squeaky, apparently, because as he sat down, the leather-like fabric made a weird sound under his weight, and that proved to be enough to wake the man up.

Nick took a sharp breath and sat up straighter, blinking and looking around until his gaze settled on Adam, who smiled apologetically

“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you up.” he said, sitting down fully.

“It’s okay” the other replied, voice rough and sleepy. He stifled a yawn before settling back in a new position   
“Adam, right?”

“Yep” he grinned briefly

“Michael asleep?”

“As much as he can be, yes. Lucifer too I suppose?”

Nick nodded with a hum.  
  


“Do you want to get some breakfast with the others? I am craving chocolate”

Nick pulled a face at that and flinched “…that isn’t a very good idea right now”

Adam sighed “What happened this time”

“Nothing! I swear, nothing bad, just…I may have-“ he groaned, covering his face with his hands  
“I may have confessed to Sam how damn jealous I am of him,” he said, leaning down to rest his elbows on his knees “…and that Lucifer loved him” he finished, mumbling.

Adam couldn’t help but choke on his laughter, and Nick shot up with a betrayed expression

“C’mon, it’s not funny!”

“Sorry, sorry, just-“ he snorted, covering his mouth until the shaking laugh passed. Seeing Nick, big strong man with the literal Devil inside him, being embarrassed as a highschool girl was really something.

Adam cleared his throat

“I didn’t even know you were jealous!”

“How could I not be” Nick mumbled, raking his fingers through his hair  
“He’s the ‘perfect vessel’ and all, and I’m just-“ he huffed, leaving the sentence hanging.  
“Aren’t you jealous of Dean?”

“Why would I be?” Adam shrugged, toeing his shoes off and tucking his feet on the chair.   
“He may be the true vessel, but he doesn’t know Michael at all” he smirked, “Also, that whole thing was supposed to be a parallel between angel and vessel, and because they are to be so similar, I know for a fact him and Dean would have never agreed on anything at all”

“mmh, maybe you’re right…I still wonder though, what it could have been”

“I suppose a lot of things could have happened, yes. But they didn’t. What did happen was, I spent eternity with an archangel in the cage, and thanks to that, now I would definitely know if Michael even thought about Dean with anything other than mind annoyance” he chuckled.   
There was also a bit of pride in his thoughts, because Dean was, even if Michael would never admit it, the better version of himself. The one who went against his father’s orders to protect his brother, and that would fight heaven and hell before leaving him.

Adam found himself with a steaming mug of hot chocolate in his hands. Michael was listening, and thought that he could buy his silence on the matter with sweet delicious drinks, and he was absolutely right.   
Adam smiled as he brought the bright orange cup with a cat on it closer to his mouth to gently blow on it. It even had little marshmallows in it. It was perfect.

Even from his sleep, Michael was really embarrassed by all that, and curled up tighter in his human, not wanting to discuss it. Adam knew that, and was just glad that now maybe, he would have the opportunity to fix his mistakes and be happy again.

Nick frowned. Hearing each other’s thoughts sounded really taxing, and at times embarrassing, but he imagined it was also really nice and kind of liberating, in a way. Still, he shook his head.

“I guess our connection isn’t that strong yet. I can feel him, and we can communicate, interact even, but that’s it really”   
No wonder Michael was so strong now, if him and Adam were really that merged together to literally be in each other’s mind all the time, the angel had the full strength of a soul to back him up.

They would very well be able to kill them all with a snap, and there was nothing anyone could do.  
Nick tried not to tense up at the thought, and when he looked up at Adam, he didn’t see any of the rage and power of an archangel, but instead only a kid that could almost be his son, curled up on an armchair sipping on a hot chocolate from a ridiculous mug.

“It will come, don’t worry” Adam told him smiling. He looked so calm, and he sounded so sure, that Nick felt the tightness in his chest ease up.

“Thank you, Adam. You’ve been…very kind to me” he said then.   
It would have been so easy for him to just discard him to the side and leave him to suffer alone. He knew he didn’t really deserve that kindness, but was glad to have someone to talk to when he needed to.  
“I really appreciate it,” he laid a hand on his heart, feeling lucifer’s calm, “We both do”

Adam nodded “anytime”

They both settled back, private smiles on their faces. Nick for being reassured and to have what he may even call a friend for the first time in so long, and Adam for feeling useful to someone human, that understood his choices and respected them.

The archangels inside of them hummed with content. They didn’t quite rise from their sleep yet, but their graces expanded and filled the bodies they were in, until they seeped outward into the room, and then past the walls outside the building. They filled the air around them with the smell of sun and snow, and the faint noise of bells and music that humans couldn’t hear.   
They met each other in the middle, waves overlapping each other into a shimmer of impossible colors, wings brushing against one another, and all around them, flowers started blossoming, and birds sang with them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments are greatly appreciated <3  
Next up: Gabriel wakes up and nobody has a good time


	11. Gabriel wakes up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He had planned to find him and talk, only talk, calmly, like adults, but now that he was there in front of him, he was terrified. His heart that he didn’t need was beating wildly, blood rushing in his ears, and he had the immediate thought that he was in danger and that he had to run, run fast and far away."

Gabriel didn’t know how much time had passed since he died.

He only realized he was asleep when he woke up with a startle, but even when he opened his eyes, all he saw was black. Looking around showed nothing at all, and when he tried to remember what had happened, he knew, he was dead.

He didn’t know for how long, or where he was exactly, but the image of Michael’s blade coming at him, again and again, the fight ending short with the searing pain in his heart, and then.

And then.

He wasn’t sure. He must have fallen asleep there, in the infinite black, and just woke up for some reason unknown to him.

His grace still hurt with the phantom pain of his brother’s blade. His eyes had been mad, and he had been smiling as he slashed and hit him. It was wrong, so wrong. His Michael was never like that.   
And Lucifer, on the ground, weak and broken, not even trying to help.

It was all wrong.

But it didn’t matter. It was all over. He was dead.  
He was dead, but even then, he would always have the feeling of both his big brother’s blades stabbing his heart.

Gabriel really wanted to go back to sleep, just so he wouldn’t have to remember that.

And wouldn’t it be so easy, to just lay back down, and let whatever was this place consume him? He could feel it already calling him, so tempting and sweet.  
He could stop fighting, and forget about the world, about his brothers and the humans and-

The humans.

Were they still alive? Had Michael (crazy, wrong, not-his Michael) won? Maybe someone had survived, and they needed help. Maybe the Winchesters had magically won again, and things were better.

He guessed he would never know.

But still, he had woken up.  
The question was_, why?_

When he saw the light, he knew it was his way out, back to the world of the living, whatever state that may be in.  
He wasn’t sure what to expect. The Winchesters wouldn’t welcome him without roping him in whatever mess they had created next, and his family was destroyed beyond repair.

Was there anyone left for him on the other side? Or would he wake to a real-life nightmare, to torture and a too-small cage, and needles in his neck and-

No.

He was dead.

No need for that.

He saw the other lights then, shining and rising towards each other. He recognized Lucifer and Raphael with something akin to sadness, because that meant they were all dead. But then again, he shouldn’t care for them at all. He didn’t, he couldn’t.

It only brought him pain and death.

But, but,

They would certainly cause trouble, he reasoned, if left by themselves on Earth. Another apocalypse perhaps, with more killing and more fighting.

He couldn’t let them.

So Gabriel as well, began to fight his way up. He joined his brothers, and he only had a moment of sudden fear when he realized that it was Michael himself calling them from the dead, before all three of them were pulled forward, and out, and out, and alive.

Being in the world again was confusing, and disorienting. All his power, and his brother’s as well, was shaking the ground, and all their voices mixed together in a frightening cry. Michael was calling them, and it wasn’t the crazy, wrong Michael from that other universe, but his, _their_ Michael, alive and giving them an opportunity to be together.

Gabriel took the vessel and ran. He wasn’t aware of where he ended up for a while, focusing on folding his grace back into a form so small and human. But it was familiar, something he remembered doing a long time before, when he ran the first time. It was only natural at that point to take the same shape as he did before, now his and only his.   
For that, it didn’t take long. Skin and hair and fingernails, but also lungs and blood and all those things that made humans so fragile, but that they couldn’t live without.

Gabriel admired them for that, really, he did.

Spending so much time with them didn’t mean he forgot who he was, what he was. And in that moment especially, with his power and grace running wild, he hid, more than he ever had before. Deep underground, in the warm earth, where only the breath of the planet itself could reach him. It was peaceful, and safe, and really hidden.

If only he could stay like that forever, everything would be fine.

Nobody to bother him, and ask him questions he didn’t have the answers for (and nobody to hurt him, sticking needles into his flesh, taking and taking and hurting and _hurting_), why would he go back at all?   
He saw his brothers, for a moment, felt them with him, closer than they had been in years.  
Michael brought them back from the Empty place, took their hands and saved them, but it didn’t mean anything.

He loved them so, so much, and he missed being with them, but he knew, he _knew_, that his love didn’t mean anything.  
He had witnessed that firsthand, and wasn’t about to get tricked again.

They wouldn’t change.

Even if they were together now, they would fight, and they would scream, and he would run, because he couldn’t do anything to stop them, just as he couldn’t back then.

It was only destiny repeating itself.

Gabriel sighed as he watched some sort of earth worm… thing crawl on his hand.

He could only hope Earth wouldn’t be a casualty this time.

It almost was, and already had been, in a way. Thinking about the destruction of the other world made his skin crawl. He always knew about the kind of power him and his brothers could be capable of, but seeing it for himself was another matter. And how many people had died because of it, how much the planet had suffered, and all the creatures in it.

Could he really let them destroy this world, still so beautiful and full of life, without at least trying?

Maybe he wouldn’t be able to stop them (he knew he wouldn’t, he never stood a chance against them, no matter how much he could convince himself and others), but he couldn’t hole up and wait for everything to be over.

And then, he figured, standing up and dusting his hands off, he figured he would get bored after a while. He was never good at being still for long.

He had to do something, and it seemed like this whole thing started with Michael, so he guessed, he was the one to find. Only to thank him for the vessel, and to see that things were alright, before he could leave again.

Gabriel left the cave in a beat of wings, and didn’t let himself hope that things had changed at all.

Finding Michael wasn’t that difficult, in retrospect.

Well, he didn’t exactly find him, but from those first seconds after being alive again, he did see the Winchesters were with him. He wasn’t really surprised, given how much trouble those two seemed to always find themselves in.

So, when he realized Michael was hidden somehow from him, he decided that paying a visit to his buddies was not a bad idea.   
He would be his usual and snarky self, and Dean would be a bit of an ass as always, and Sam would be relieved and maybe even smile at him with those sweet eyes of his, and things would seem normal and mundane, at least for a couple of minutes.

“Hey guys-“

Certainly, flying in that bunker of theirs just to come face to face with his brother, wasn’t something he was expecting.

Michael was sitting in the main room at the table, setting up a chess game.   
It seemed impossible for Michael to be just…there, on some rickety old chair, slouched and, for all that he could see…comfortable. He expected to meet him in Heaven, sitting on the throne like all the world was expected to bow at his feet, with that stupid stuck-up expression that came with years of being nothing but a prince.

But he was, somehow. Gabriel immediately recognized his overwhelming presence in the room, humming with power that was so unique only to him. A particular note, a pitch or maybe a color, that he remembered as one of his very first memories, singing and lulling him into sleep, and later on, harsher and violent, guiding soldiers into battle.   
Now, it was just being himself, existing as he was created.

And he was looking at him. His song faltered for the moment it took for Michael to turn his head and meet his gaze. Gabriel saw how his eyes widened, and everything stopped for a moment, before that look melted into something sweeter, and the grace hummed happily.

Michael’s smile didn’t last long, and only managed to go so far as to stand up to greet his brother, before Gabriel had his blade out and pointed at him.

It was instinct, really.

After all, you can only witness your own brothers trying to kill you so many times, before fighting back becomes the first reaction.

And Gabriel wasn’t about to die again, or see anyone else he cared about getting killed because of his family (and no matter how annoying they were, Gabriel did like those two brothers, and Castiel as well, an awful lot)

He had planned to find him and talk, only talk, calmly, like adults, but now that he was there in front of him, he was terrified. His heart that he didn’t need was beating wildly, blood rushing in his ears, and he had the immediate thought that he was in danger and that he had to run, run fast and far away.

But he didn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit shorter than usual, but I had to split the chapter in two somehow. Next one coming at the beginning of the week!
> 
> Next-up: Michael and Gabriel talk- or try to, at least.


	12. Tension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You,” he laughed, disbelieved, “you teamed up with Lucifer?”  
Michael seemed to want to say something, but only nodded instead.  
He shook his head, “You wouldn’t really do that, right?” He turned to Sam and Dean, “you guys wouldn’t really do that, right?!”  
At their silence, his shoulders slumped. “I can’t believe it.” He whispered, and then more loudly “I can’t believe it!”

“Gabriel.”

“Michael.”

As far as greetings went, it wasn’t the best, but they would have to work with that.

“I see the vessel is working,” his brother murmured, tilting his head a bit. Not acknowledging the threat in the slightest, but that was fine. Gabriel could work with that. He gripped his weapon tighter.

“Yeah, thanks by the way. Now I have hands to punch your stupid face with.”

“Gabriel-“ he began to say, disapproving tone of someone who raised too many kids and was used to being spoken to like that.

“How did you do it? This is pagan magic, not your field as far as I remember.” someone had to have helped him, and if it was indeed the pagans, then he was in even more trouble, considering all the mess that he made with them.

“Yes, well,” he crossed his arms and sighed, “the Winchesters helped me out, I have to admit. It wasn’t easy, and indeed it is out of my expertise,”

“Did you kill them?” Gabriel tried to keep his tone neutral. He couldn’t show weakness, no matter how hard it was to keep his voice from shaking.

Michael shook his head.   
“They are…” he gestured vaguely with a hand “- somewhere, around here”

Gabriel nodded slightly. Maybe, if he was fast enough, he could use the moment of surprise he still had, to take them far away and hide them, or try to buy them some time to escape, or…something. He still had to work in the details. For now, he descended the stairs in order to be at eye level with the other, and smirked at him.

“And you, what, tortured them into helping you? Or only blackmailed this time?”  
  


“Nothing like that,” Michael frowned, clenching his jaw. He was always displeased with heaven’s methods, even if they were effective. But he was trying hard to be better, now.  
“They were the ones that asked for my help first, and I’m only doing what I have to in order to-“

“Oh, what you have to do, is that it?”

“Yes, Gabriel listen, Father-“

“Oh would you stop it with that, it didn’t hold up as an excuse before, least of all-“

“Brother-“ Michael raised his voice slightly, and took a step closer.  
  


“Don’t you dare” in a flash, Gabriel raised the blade and pointed it at his throat. He didn’t know if he meant ‘Don’t you dare come closer to me’ or ‘Don’t you dare call me your brother; not after everything you did’

He told himself that the hurt look in Michael’s eyes was enough of an answer.

By then, someone must have heard the voices, because there were quick steps coming closer, accompanied by the sound of a gun’s safety being removed, and the metallic unsheathing of blades.

Well, Gabriel really wouldn’t hope of a different welcome.

They came into view without a word, weapons raised and ready for any intruder.  
Once they saw him, they relaxed slightly, and Gabriel glanced in their direction, glad to see their relief at his presence. Sam had that silly smile on his face, that made his stomach flutter every time, and even Dean was slightly smirking as he lowered his weapon fully.

Gabriel nodded at them in greeting, before fixing his glare back at Michael, who didn’t move an inch considering the blade pointed at his throat.

Only then the hunters seemed to understand the situation, and once they put away their weapons, they raised their hands in a placating gesture.

“Hey Gabriel, glad to have you back,” prompted Sam. Now his smile was tenser, acutely aware that something was wrong.

“Yeah, right. More importantly, what exactly is happening here?” Dean backed him up, gesturing vaguely to the two angels in front of them.

“Well,” Gabriel tilting his head mockingly “I came here to say hi and all, but instead I found this bastard,” he made a small stabbing motion in Michael’s direction, and reveled in the small step back he took “Waiting! And I decided I’d rather not be killed again so soon, you know.”  
  


“Nobody is going to harm you-” Michael tried to intervene, but was stopped immediately

“You shut up! I don’t want to hear it,” He snapped out, before sighing. “Are you boys alright? Did he hurt you?” he asked, not even trying to hide the concern in his voice. There was no point now.

“No, no,” Sam shook his head. “We’re working together, all of us. And we were hoping for your help, as well as Raphael’s I guess, but haven’t seen him yet,” he finished, a small frown pulling at his face.

Even then, Gabriel thought he was really cute. But this wasn’t the time, and he had to focus.

“Oh really? And what’s so important that you need three archangels on your side?”

Sam opened and closed his mouth a couple of times before Dean took his cue to reply  
  


“…Four, actually”

“Excuse me?” Gabriel asked. He must have heard wrong.

“Four. We- we need all of you to help us” Sam gritted out.

  
  


Gabriel looked at him, and at Dean for confirmation, and then at Michael, who couldn’t bring himself to meet his gaze.

No, absolutely not. They couldn’t really mean.  
  


“You,” he laughed, disbelieved, “you teamed up with Lucifer?”

Michael seemed to want to say something, but only nodded instead.  
  


He shook his head, “You wouldn’t really do that, right?” He turned to Sam and Dean, “you guys wouldn’t really do that, right?!”

At their silence, his shoulders slumped. “I can’t believe it.” He whispered, and then more loudly “I can’t believe it!”

“Well you should really start to, or this is all going to be a lot more difficult,”

A new voice replied.

Gabriel knew that voice.

Gabriel didn’t like that voice one bit.  
  


He bared his teeth and swiftly turned towards Lucifer.  
He was laying back on a cement pillar with his arms crossed, head tilted and a bored expression on his face.  
  


The audacity.  
  


Looking at his angry face, teeth bared and angel blade firmly grasped in his hand, Lucifer sweetly smiled at him  
“Hey, little brother! Missed me?”

“Like anyone could ever miss you. Should have stayed dead for all I care,” he replied, lacing the words with as much venom as he could.

“Watch how you speak to me,” Lucifer hissed back, raising from his spot.

“Oh yeah? What are you going to do? Stab me again?” he raised his weapon toward him. If this was going to go down as a fight, then he would fight.

“_Okay!!!_ Alright, we get it!” Dean shouted, getting above them both. He stepped between them, and both Lucifer and Gabriel took a moment to reel back their anger just to contemplate how stupid this human would have to be, to get in the middle of two of the most powerful beings on Earth.  
  


But he didn’t move.  
  


“Listen,” he said instead “we all get it, you hate each other and blah blah blah. But can we concentrate, please!?”

If it had been Sam, who got in between them, they may have listened. Both had a weak spot for that human and knew that more often than not, he was right.

But that wasn’t Sam. And for how much his brother backed him up silently from his spot frozen by the farthest wall away from angry angry archangels, Dean didn’t have the same charisma.

So, after a moment of silence, Lucifer growled

“Stay back before I decide you can be a casualty,”

Which Gabriel took in stride to bounce back

“And we’re finally coming back to threats, didn’t take so long!”

And things went south really fast.

“I never said I stopped, you just-“

“It’s just a stupid human Luci, come on, kill him, show me that you’ve really always been the same-“

“Hey! I’m not-“

“Shut up Gabriel, as if you have any say in what-“

“Don’t you say shut up to me, you-“

“Enough!!!” Michael shouted. Thunder cracked on the roof of the bunker, and the lights flickered as the booming noise reverberated through the walls. Everybody did shut up then, as the eldest stomped forward and put himself in between the two.

“Enough.” He repeated more softly.  
“This is the last thing any of us needs right now.”  
  


He sighed, and looked at his brother.  
“Lucifer, please go,” he said, arms raised to keep the two apart, preventing them from attacking each other any more than they already were.

“No way! I’m not just going to go while he-“

“Lucifer! Please,” he said, again, looking into his eyes. He was barely containing the situation as it were, and they both knew that Gabriel right now was a ticking time bomb. He had to handle it carefully, or they would never be able to mend their relationship. Having them screaming at each other certainly wasn’t the way.

Lucifer pressed his lips in a thin tense line, and scolded his expression into something more neutral.

“Are you going to be alright alone with him?”

“Yes,” Michael had no doubt. Gabriel may hate him, and had every right to do so, but he wouldn’t attack if unprovoked.  
“Now please, go.”

The two looked at each other a second more, and then Lucifer departed with a beat of wings.

The room was instantly lighter, and the slight chill that had permeated the air became less prominent. The two angels weren’t very relaxed, but still, they could now breathe, even if shakily.

“Finally, now maybe we can all talk like civilized people,” Dean perked up from the side.  
“Or, well, not people,” he gave a small attempt at a laugh.

“I think you’ve done enough for now, thanks,” Michael said deadpan, and without even looking at him, waved a hand in the air. Just like that, the two brothers disappeared.

Before Gabriel even said anything, he spoke up  
“Don’t worry, I just sent them to their rooms, asleep and unharmed.”

Gabriel only gave a low hum in acknowledgment.

“He didn’t mean that, you know,” Michael said, his arms falling limp by his sides.  
“He is just angry, and, well. He misses you,” he shrugged and turned back towards Gabriel  
“As do I.”

The other scoffed, and his blade dissolved back into his grace. If Michael wanted to kill him, he would have done so already, or better yet, he would have left the job to Lucifer, given he already managed to do that once before (or almost did, anyway)

“You both sure have a fun way of showing it,” he crossed his arms, and stubbornly looked away. He wasn’t about to give Michael any satisfaction. “Betraying eveybody, abandoning everybody, trying to kill each other and tearing the family apart, you know…” he gestured vaguely “…all of that.”  
  
  


Michael winced, and bowed his head. Inside of him, Adam was fuming, restraining himself from getting to the surface and having some words with Gabriel about where exactly he could put his sarcasm, but they had agreed, days before, that it would be Michael to talk to his brothers first. He needed to do this, no matter how much it hurt.  
So Adam simply waited, hoping that Gabriel’s words wouldn’t leave lasting damage on Michael’s already fragile state.

Michael could only send his disapproval his way, before carrying on

“I- I am sorry, about everything. I really am,” he could say nothing to defend himself, so he hoped that the truth was enough.

Gabriel only rolled his eyes

“And what’s all this? First with ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, now ‘I’m sorry’? Wow, Michael! I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say such words! What has gotten into you?” he smiled.  
  


It wasn’t a kind one, but Michael took it head-on. He held his head high.

“I’ve changed,” he nodded to himself “Or, I’m trying to.”

“Oh really? And how did that happen, pray tell?”

“Time. And pain, and regret. And-“ he lightly touched the center of his chest, where Adam’s soul was resting, and lightly smiled “- a human”

Gabriel squinted at his brother.

He had been so overwhelmed with fear and anger that he hadn’t paid close attention, but now that he made him notice... it did seem like Michael wasn’t alone in that body of his.

It wasn’t even what a normal angel and vessel interactions looked like, it was more….solid.  
Something Gabriel had never seen before, grace and human soul mixing and dancing together, both peaceful.

Only mentioning it, Michael turned softer and…happier.  
  


Gabriel blinked a couple of times.

Huh. That was unexpected.

  
  


“Well, I think congratulations are in order,” he said tilting his head. Really really unexpected.

“Thank you, Gabriel.”

“That doesn’t mean I’m going to be staying here a second longer. I don’t know why you brought me back, why you brought any of us back, but I don’t want anything to do with it,” He pointed a finger at Michael  
“Anything.”

“Just, let me explain first, please-“

“No! I don’t care. I’m done. I came here only to check on the Winchesters, and to thank you for the wake-up call, and now” he gave a slight bow “I did that. So, I’m gonna take my leave, if you don’t mind” he took a step back. It wouldn’t be easy, go into hiding again, but he already did it once, so he could do it again.

“Gabriel, wait-“ Michael called him

“What! What now!?” he shouted. He was getting frustrated, and the sadness in his brother’s eyes was tearing a hole in the heart he didn’t even realize he still had.

Michael must have seen that he was at his breaking point. He slightly raised his arms again, and spoke quietly.

“I won’t stop you, but Gabriel,” he said, coming closer to him once again, only stopping at the fierce glare he received. Michael nodded and handed him a cellphone

“Take this; call Sam or Dean if you ever need help. We will come.”

Gabriel scoffed “Oh, using lowly human technology now huh?”

“Yes, well,” his mouth twisted in a displeased expression. “We can’t use heaven’s channels. Someone could be listening. Just-“ he thrusted his hand forward “take it.”  
  


Gabriel eyed his brother warily and then the phone like it was a bomb that may explode in his hand any second.

“Gabriel, please,” Michael sighed “I won’t abandon you again. I just want to help”

He didn’t trust him, Gabriel said to himself. Accepting his offer didn’t mean he trusted him, because he didn’t, he would never.

He took the phone, the weight was reassuring in his pocket.

No, it didn’t mean anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! comments are always appreciated
> 
> next up: Gabriel can run, but he can't hide. Especially not from Chuck.


	13. Bear trap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He just about grasped the phone he still had in his pocket, when he felt it.  
The brightest, strongest power he ever felt.  
coming his way.  
He had a moment of panic, before the sense of familiarity overcame his every sense, and his eyes widened in recognition.  
“Hey son”

Gabriel ran. His wings took him further away from his brothers, and slowly, the surge of adrenaline in his body died down. He was panting, even if he didn’t need to breathe, but it was a safe way to expel some of the tension he could feel on his shoulders.

He only rested when he felt safe enough, far away enough. Even if he knew it would be better for him to go to another planet altogether, he didn’t have the resources or the connections, for now.  
So he would have to settle for winding down deep into a patch of woods, somewhere on the other side of the world.

He paced back and forth for a while, mulling over what had just happened.

The meeting with Michael didn’t go as expected, and Lucifer as well, he wasn’t ready. He came too close to another fight, and probably death.

If those two really teamed up, there was no hope for survival. If when confronted alone they were a force of nature, dangerous and ready to destroy anything in their paths, together they were….terrifying.  
Gabriel remembered the old wars, when all of the angels fought together, and couldn’t help feeling sorry for that poor soul that would soon come face to face with the wrath of two archangels.

Well, three, if he counted Raphael, but he didn’t sense them in the bunker, so Gabriel guessed they were still on the run.  
He hoped they were okay.

He hoped they wouldn’t go back obeying Michael. Because if Raphael went back to him, it was a sure thing that they would get roped back into his schemes. With his voice and his talks and his reassuring gestures.  
Damn him  
It made him furious.

Gabriel lashed out with a scream, letting his frustration explode with his grace, and a couple of trees broke in the path, before his voice was carried upwards into the sky, for anybody to hear. He felt bad when they fell on the ground, burnt and dead, but he guessed it was better for his anger to be directed at trees instead of humans.

Or at Michael.

He didn’t even know why he was so mad, maybe coming back from the dead screwed with his perspective.

Maybe he should try and hear him out. It didn’t mean he had to listen, but…

He just about grasped the phone he still had in his pocket, when he felt it.

The brightest, strongest power he ever felt.  
coming his way.

He had a moment of panic, before the sense of familiarity overcame his every sense, and his eyes widened in recognition.

“Hey son”

“…Father?”

Gabriel couldn’t believe it.  
He stared at him, still as stone, and real. And still, he couldn’t believe it.

After all this time..

“How are you, Gabriel?”

He didn’t know what to think, what to do. His head was empty of all thoughts, but somehow his mouth moved on it’s own, and he managed a reply  
“I- I’m alright”

“Good! That’s, uh. That’s good.”

The awkward little man that stood in front of him shifted his eyes around, and for a moment Gabriel had trouble associating that form to his father.  
The last time he had seen Him after all, was a long long time before, and a lot of things had changed since then.

Apparently, He had changed as well.

“How are you alive anyhow? I thought there had been casualities during the fight with Michael. Or, well, Other Michael”

“I- yes. He. Killed me then. And after, uhm-” He didn’t know? So the order wasn’t his. Did he know about the others?

“Ah, doesn’t matter” he said, waving a hand around.  
“It has probably something to do with the Winchesters, doesn’t it?”

Gabriel only nodded. Out of all people to team up with Michael, he would never have guessed.

“Yes, right! You were their ally more than once after all! Not so surprising they’d be trying to get you back in the game now”

Gabriel didn’t know how to respond to that. But then again, his father seemed more than happy to carry on the conversation by himself.

“Well then, good thing I was the one to find you first! Otherwise, this would all be a terrible misunderstanding, I mean-”

“You’re really back?” Gabriel interrupted his slight rambling, not managing to keep the hope out of his voice. Could it really be?

His father smiled, small and strained, but it was the best thing Gabriel had seen in a long time  
“Yes, Gabriel.”

“For real?” he asked. He felt like a child again, voice small and wobbly.

He smiled, and nodded in confirmation, before opening his arms to the angel.  
“Come here, son”

Gabriel would have liked to say he refused, that the resentment for putting his brothers one against the other won over everything else he was feeling.  
but the truth was, that Gabriel was a lost child at heart. Scared, and lonely.

And that’s why he ran into his father’s arms, without seeing the bear trap that was waiting for him.

Gabriel hid his face in His chest. This vessel wasn’t as big and infinite as his presence, but is was him, and it was enough.  
If he was back, that could only mean that the war was over, that there was no more need to fight. They could be together again, at home and at peace, with no more death and destruction.  
“It’s over, it’s all over” he whispered.

“Yes, everything will be over, soon” Chuck closed his arms around his back, and Gabriel could now see the mechanism tick.

God had always been a beacon of hope and safety, for all angels. His presence a warm comfort.  
But this embrace was cold. Emotionless.

The trap closed on his head.

Every thought that was running though Gabriel’s mind stopped, and doubt made it’s way through.  
Doubt, and fear.

He tried to put some space between them, if only to look at his father in the eyes, but a hand at the back of his neck stopped him, pushing him back into his shoulder.

Gabriel swallowed.  
“What do you mean?”

The other sighed. “There is one thing that is left to do. One last story to write. And you could help me, Gabriel.” He said, in a soft voice, that still betrayed a hardness beneath. The fingers around his neck tightened briefly, before relaxing in a mock caresse.

Gabriel felt a shiver go down his spine.  
“And what is it, that you need to do, Father?”

“End them. End them all, and the world with it”

“I don’t understand” Gabriel said, begging his father to turn all this into something with more sense.  
Anything, other than what he was implying.

“It’s time, son. It’s time for this world, and all of the others like it, to end. And before doing that, I need the Winchesters to have an end worthy of their name.”

Gabriel slowly pushed himself off of Chuck, and this time He let him. He tried scolding his expression into something neutral, but considering the way his father was smiling at him, he was doing a poor job of it.

“What about the other humans? The angels?” he managed to say without making his voice shake.  
This couldn’t be happening, would he really do something like that?

His smile didn’t waver, and he talked to him as it was with a small child, trying to make him understand the world of adults.  
“I promise Gabriel, they won’t feel a thing. It will be quick”

No, no, no, it couldn’t be

_‘I have to save them, Gabriel, I have to save all of them!’  
‘We need your help, I can’t do it alone’_

Or could it?   
Was Michael-?

He was with the Winchesters, he was trying to  
Save them?

He had to run.

His father was still looking at him. He must have seen his fear, because he tried to double back

“Gabriel, I know you’ve always liked the humans. And I understand, they are fascinating. But once it’s over, I will make something new, something even better, and there will be other things to spend your time with, I can promise you that”

Gabriel took a step back. That’s what he thought? That humans were just…playthings?

He had to go, he had to find Michael. He would make sense of this.

The fact that his father didn’t stop him, but only looked at him with a disappointed expression, surprised him plenty.  
“You have nowhere to run, Gabriel. Think about it, and when you’re ready to join me, I will come to you”

Gabriel let his wings carry him away, and in a heartbeat, he was gone.

Michael was walking aimlessly in the corridors, trying not to get his thoughts spiraling. Adam said it was ‘pacing back and forth angrily’ but it wasn’t like that. Absolutely not. He was just nervous, that’s all.

He heard some commotion from the main rooms, followed by shouting, and immediately made his way over.

“Michael! Where is Michael?!”

“Gabriel, you’re back! What happened?”

“Go get Michael! Now!! Where is he?!”

“Gabriel” he called as he entered the room, and took in the disheveled form of his brother. He had a wild look in his eyes, and Sam and Dean must have seen that, because they kept at a reasonable distance.

He made his way over and stopped short of placing a hand on his arm to calm him down, figuring he wouldn’t appreciate that coming from him.

But something was wrong.

“What happened?” he asked, trying to keep his tone as calm and gentle as possible.

“When were you going to tell me, huh?!?” Gabriel shouted at his face, and he reeled back, with a confused expression.

At that, he continued “that Father wants to end the world?!? Did you think that wasn’t the first thing you were supposed to say to me?!” he half-turned to Sam and Dean “is that who you’re up against now?? God?!?! What the hell did you do??”

They raised their hands, looking worriedly at the angel. They had seen him mad before, but this outburst was new.

“Gabriel, please, if you just let me-“ he tried once again, but Gabriel was too agitated to even listen.

“Is that why you brought me back, us back? To- to fight Dad??”

“Yes. You weren’t going to listen before, but he is going to kill us all, brother, all humans and all angels as well. He is done with the universe and we have to-“

“Let me guess, stop him? You’re crazy! You can’t, nobody can, you’re just delusional!”

“Well I still have to try, and save them!” he raised his voice as well. Why was this so difficult? Why couldn’t they just talk like brothers for once!

For all his efforts, he only got a laugh to his face.

“And since when do you care at all huh? You don’t care about humans, or about any of us as well! You’ve never cared” he spat, pointing a finger to his chest. Michael recoiled from the words. It wasn’t true. It wasn’t like that.

“Why aren’t you on his side now? You’ve only cared about your orders, and making daddy proud. And now, you want me to believe that only because you spent a few years in hell with a single insignificant human, you-“

Gabriel didn’t have the change to finish the sentence, because the slap he received across the face made his head whip around, and he cradled his hurt cheek, glaring in complete shock at Michael, who had a finger pointed at his face, and a very pissed off expression.

“First off, watch who you’re calling insignificant, you dick”

Or

Not Michael.

“- Second, how dare you speak to him like that?!”

Michael maybe did, but still couldn’t stop him in time. Not that he particularly wanted to. Now, Adam had him pressed tight behind his soul, shielding him from the outside world and from his brother’s anger.

“Oh. Oh wow” Dean was staring at them with a shocked expression, and pride in his eyes.  
“Did you just- did he just-?” he turned to Sam, who nodded in confirmation.

“-hit me?” Gabriel finished in an affronted tone. But the fury was gone for now, and the screaming left the place to stunned silence.

“Yes. I did. And I will again if you don’t calm down and watch your mouth.”

Gabriel had to check twice, before believing that it was, in fact, the human vessel that was confronting him. But from the soul shining in defiance to the very angry, very human expression on his face, it was clear that wasn’t his brother at all.

Damn. The kid had guts.

“Now, Michael may be too nice to actually respond to your provocations, but I’ll let you know, I am fresh out of hell and full of rage, so just_ try me_.”

Gabriel was too preoccupied with the fact that he just described the general of all Heaven as ‘_Too Nice_’ to actually form a reply before he continued.

“Do you have any idea how much he loves you? How much he sacrificed for you, and how much time he spent trying to bring you back?”  
And how many nights he spent regretting his every decision, apologizing and screaming in his own mind.  
But he didn’t say that. Some things weren’t for others to hear.

“He doesn’t. He only obeyed Father and he tore our family apart!”

“It was a mistake, Gabriel. And he paid for it. Still is paying for it. And is trying to be better, in case you haven’t noticed. He really is!  
And now, for all his efforts you just what, spit in his face? Have you even asked him what he wants, Gabriel? Because I’m telling you, it’s not another apocalypse, or to rule over the world.”

“And what is it that he wants then. Enlighten me” he ground out, staring Adam down.

He seemed to consider it for a moment, before replying  
“It’s not my place to tell. You’re his brother, whenever you really want to know and accept his answer, you’ll ask him”

Gabriel looked to the side, pouting. He sighed and crossed his arms, before half-sitting on the table.

“So. Are you boys really planning on going against God?” he asked towards the Winchesters, who for once had shut up and let the two resolve their screaming with each other in peace.

“Yeah. He told us his plans, to destroy everything and put an end to the world.” Dean frowned, and Sam shrugged. “We have to try”

Gabriel nodded “Yes, he told me as much. He- He found me somehow, and asked me to join the dark side with him” he rubbed his face with his hands. What a mess.

“You didn’t tell him about Michael, right?” Adam prompted.

“No, He didn’t know it was him behind my resurrection. I didn’t tell him about Lucifer and Raphael either, but he didn’t seem to know.”

The others all sighed in relief. They had to keep the secret as long as they could.

“You know I can’t work with him, right?” Gabriel growled. It didn’t take a genius to figure out who he was talking about.

Sam shook his head “I understand your motives, but we need all of you for this to work”

“You can’t ask me that!” he exclaimed, standing back up “He tried to kill me! And you as well, more than once!”

“Oh grow up!” Adam rolled his eyes  
“Everybody in the room attempted to kill each other on more than one occasion. It’s not that big of a deal. And if Mike and Lucifer managed to make amends, I’m sure you’ll manage to get over whatever issue you have with him.”

“Excuse me, _‘Mike’_?”   
Sam shushed his brother with a light shove, as Gabriel stared at Adam.

“He is- He is evil! Did you forget that??”

“No he isn’t” Adam retorted. His face melted into something sadder and guilty, and Gabriel could see Michael speaking then “he really isn’t”

Gabriel only managed to look him in the eyes for a moment, before letting his gaze go around the room.  
Incredible. This day was just full of surprises.

“Sam, what do you think” he asked then, and looked at the human in time to see him wildly looking around, as if he couldn’t believe he was speaking to him.

“I- What? Why are you asking me?”

“Michael may have changed or whatever, but I don’t trust his judgement. So I’m asking you. Because you have more reasons than anybody to not trust Lucifer.” Sam grimaced a bit, but stood his ground.

“So, if you tell me he can be trusted, and that I should help, then,” he sighed “ then I guess I will”

Sam swallowed, and frowned hard, mouth set in a tense line. But it was with a sure gaze that he looked at Gabriel then, and he gave him a single nod.

“Yes”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! And Special thanks to my beta blomvonar (@midamspn on tumblr)  
Comments are appreciated as always
> 
> Next up: Raphael wakes up


	14. Raphael wakes up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A single point of light started shining, distant and so faint, Raphael thought they had imagined it. Until they heard their name again, and others, the names of their brothers.  
Their brothers.  
Raphael woke up, and remembered them. And from the dark, where before there was nothing, they answered.

They weren’t sure where they were, at first. It had been dark and not cold but not warm either, only…empty. Their thoughts escaped them, no matter how much they tried to put them in order, they just kept flowing away like water off a smooth surface. They didn’t remember anything, even who they were was beginning to blur at the edges, and everything was only calm and sleep.

It was nice. They didn’t remember anything from before, weren’t even sure if there had been a “before”, but they had the feeling of tiredness weighing them down, from a life of pain and anger and solitude, and now they could just rest.  
They didn’t remember their name, what they were, what had happened. If they had family or friends, those too were lost along with every memory, slowly falling deeper and deeper into the empty.

So they decided it was nice, to have no responsibility and no consequences and no need to be anyone, anything, and drifted onto sleep.

Against all odds, the sleep that was supposed to be eternal, all of a sudden wasn’t anymore. Something pulled up, and up, and their form emerged from the depths of sleep, into wakefulness.

They opened their eyes, but still couldn’t see, surrounded by darkness, and they had the absolute certainty that they were dead.  
But now, their thoughts were fast and many, shooting around wildly. Something had changed, but still, they couldn’t hear, see or feel anything around them. For how much their grace stretched far and wide, still, they found to be completely alone, in the most absolute darkness, but with that, they remembered, they were an angel.

Walking had no purpose, and they had no form to be walking with. Still, they could feel a weight pulling them down, tempting them into sleep once again. But now they were awake, and that could only mean that something had changed. So they resisted, even as their form was enveloped by dark tendrils, and kept looking for something, someone.

The second thing they remembered was that there was somebody at all. Somebody important.

The angel didn’t know how much time had passed, the concept of it was lost where they were. They couldn’t count breaths, or the rotations of planets, or the decaying of atoms. There was nothing all around, so it was like no time at all had passed, or maybe it had been years, decades.

All they knew was that all of a sudden, they heard a name being called. Heard it ringing in their mind, someone calling them from above.

And they remembered, their name was-

_'Raphael, wake up.'_

A single point of light started shining, distant and so faint, Raphael thought they had imagined it. Until they heard their name again, and others, the names of their brothers.

Their _brothers._

Raphael woke up, and remembered them. And from the dark, where before there was nothing, they answered.

Raphael could see them now, in the distance, tied with black as were they. Even in that dreaded place, that made memories fade away, they knew Gabriel and Lucifer, shining from afar, responding to that single point of warmth that was calling them.

It wasn’t a voice, really, more of a feeling, going through their body like a shockwave. But it was so familiar, somehow. And more importantly, it was something other than the nothing that surrounded them.  
And it was calling.

As they started to move towards it, the empty tried to hold them back. It snaked it’s way around them, pulling in the opposite direction, but Raphael was desperate to know.   
The other lights, their brothers, were also clawing their way upwards, closer to the light, and to life. Raphael was certain that was their way out, could almost feel the breeze coming from the other side. And the voice, now it was real, solid, and so familiar. They pulled and stretched towards it, grasping the other’s grace, warm and beautiful and alive, and-

_Michael_

Raphael took their brother’s hand, and lived.

Raphael wasn’t sure what exactly happened, their mind still fuzzy from the sleep and the dark, but the moment they were free, it was a chorus of voices and the power of their brothers.   
The shift from feeling nothing at all, to being able to hear all the Earth around them, was too overwhelming, so, as soon as they took the vessel that was offered, they fled. Grace wild and raw, they knew that they would harm anything they touched, so they hid far, far away from everyone.

They didn’t return home, to heaven. Raphael knew that once they got there, it would be a flurry of voices and movement and things to do, and they were still hanging to life by a thread, and needed quiet.

The vessel was still taking form, and they slowly flexed their hands. It contained them perfectly, and even if it was wildly different from a human body, they could inhabit it without a problem. It must have been Michael’s doing, even if they didn’t really understand why.  
  


Raphael sat on the surface of the Moon, far away from any form of life. They looked on, to the Earth and the stars, and slowly, oh so slowly brought their grace forward. They weren’t really looking for anything, only trying to see if there was anything at all, or if it all was a dream, and they were still asleep in the nothing.

If the absence of feeling and sound in space was helping to center them and rein in their power, it was also grating at their nerves, too close to the feeling of being suspended into the dark.  
  


Their grace stretched outward until they touched Earth, and suddenly it was a violent rush of presence and life and emotions and billions and billions of humans, screaming, laughing, praying, living and dying and it was so much, so much, too much-

Raphael recoiled hard, and brought their grace as close as possible to their shaking form.  
They sat there for a while, hugging their legs and shuddering, face hidden in their knees. How much time had they spent in the empty, for it to get that bad? They had forgotten everything they were, knowing only the lying peace of sleep.   
Could it be, that even now, they didn’t remember everything? That there was something they were missing, something important?  
And if so, would they ever remember?

Raphael looked up, to the stars and the planets and all that there was.

They had to hope things could get better, with small steps.  
But they guessed that until then, the form of the Earth, bright and beautiful, was enough.

When they had witnessed a couple of rotations of the planet and had learned to move freely in their new body (still blank, still forming, but theirs nonetheless) Raphael decided to descend on Earth.  
They couldn’t handle humans, not yet, too complex and just too much.  
But there was so much life, so much to see and experience.

They started with the oceans. Far from everybody, but still, there was life. Even deep in the darkest of waters, there were sparks. The deep pressure of the water on their body was soothing, and the darkness hid their form, even as blind creatures, accustomed to living in the absence of light, swam around them, guided by electricity and invisible waves.   
The ocean wasn’t silent, everything talked and communicated, and Raphael remembered how to talk back. They spoke with the hermit crabs and the ray fishes, swam with the sharks, and when they heard the whales singing, Raphael remembered how the angels singed with them.

And so they sang, and sang and sang.

They went to forests, and rediscovered colors, painting their skin and hair dark and warm, and to icy barren lands. The animals there trusted them, recognized the ethereal under their skin, and Raphael touched the snow, and the ice, and the fur of the wolves and bears. The white fluffy rabbits nestled around them, seeking heat and protection against the wind, and Raphael remembered how it was to smile and laugh.

They ran across the world for weeks, and as their body formed, their mind quieted down.

Last, they went to the deserts. They could feel the people close to them, but it was easier now. Not overwhelming like before.

They stood basking in the sun, feeling the warmth and the light behind their closed eyelids.  
Even the air they breathed was warm and dry. Raphael wiggled their toes in the sand until they were buried under the grains. The ground was scorching hot, not enough to harm them in any way, but it was a strong sensation, one that they welcomed.   
Their new body was complete now, grace having merged with it. It wasn’t a cage, and they could leave if they wanted, but it was a good body, comfortable and functional, and more than enough.

Their lungs expanded with every breath that they didn’t need but took anyways, and their muscles tensed with every stretch and shift.

They were ready to go back home.

And yet, they stood there.

If Raphael had to be honest with themselves, they didn’t really want to go back. In the years after the war, and the time leading heaven, they had forgotten the wonders of life and nature, and now they had had the opportunity to visit it once again. They found it beautiful, even if the places free from humans were few and far in between.   
They could breathe there, something that they really hadn’t been able to do in so long, and they didn’t want to leave it behind to deal with everything else again.

They wanted peace, they wanted to be left alone.

But it was only a naïve wish, and knew that they would have to go back.

Still, Raphael found themselves hesitating, and instead stood in the sun, still and just breathing.

“You there!”

The voice had startled them. They had felt the human approaching, but weren’t used to being acknowledged or talked to.

It was a man, standing not too far behind them. The cart they were leading was full of empty jars and containers for water. The well he had close to home had dried up in the latest wave of heat, so he was going to refill their supplies to the closest village, hoping they were kind enough to let him use their source.

Raphael didn’t particularly care, and only hoped the human would just leave and continue his travel, once he didn’t get a response.

But no such luck, and the stranger took a step closer.

“Hello? Miss?”

Raphael inwardly sighed and turned around to face them.

“Are you alr- OH” the man raised his hands and quickly looked away. The angel only tilted their head, waiting. Whatever it was that he wanted, they hoped it would be over soon.

But the man just continued babbling “You- um- don’t have any…clothes on. Uh- yeah, okay, here”   
He then fumbled with the cloth he wore around his head to protect himself from the sun, until it slipped free, and offered it to her, still stubbornly looking anywhere but at her form.

“You should uh- cover up. Before you get sunburnt”

Raphael considered it for a moment, before taking the man’s shawl. They had forgotten they didn’t have any clothes on. Didn’t really care, but they guessed humans still had their silly rules.  
Also, they had now a woman's form, apparently. They (now maybe she, even if only for convenience's sake) didn't mind.

Once she finished tying the cloth around her body, the man returned his gaze.

“What are you doing here? It’s the middle of nowhere and you have no clothes?”

He only grew more concerned when he didn’t get a reply.

“Do you- do you speak my language? What’s your name?”

“Raphael” she replied, her voice scratchy from disuse. Even their name sounded weird spoken aloud like that.

“Oh you do understand! Are you- Are you alright? Are you lost?”

“I’m just passing through”   
Words had a weird taste in their mouth, and even if they did know every language in existence, she wasn’t used to forming the words in the human’s way. They’d rather speak in pictures and memories and thoughts, but humans were limiting in that regard.

“Well then uh.. you must be thirsty, standing in the sun like that. I have- My home is not far, you can come and rest, my family would be happy to-“

“No” she interrupted. She didn’t want more humans to deal with, with their rules and words and emotions.   
“I’m fine here”

The man slumped his shoulders, and walked closer to her, until a fierce glare stopped him in his tracks.

“We- I wouldn’t hurt you, you don’t have to worry. We’re good people” he offered a small smile “Just trying to help”

Raphael could feel themselves smirking. He was worried for them. How cute. If only he knew, what they were and what they could do.   
They hadn’t really tested their power just yet, not to their destructive extent, but they were certain that if they wanted to, they could destroy this small man’s house, and the ones close to them, until everything was sand and dust.

Raphael considered doing just that, only for a moment, before deciding that these humans weren’t dangerous or significant in any way that mattered to them. They were only living their peaceful lives, and had no reason to make that end.

They turned around, hoping once again, that the man would just take the clue and leave.

And once again, he just sighed and stepped up beside her, to look at her face, and frowned.  
“Are you sure you’re alright?”

She didn’t even look at him when answering, annoyed “Yes, I am”

“Then why do you look so sad?”

Raphael turned her head then, glaring in earnest at the prying little human and his assumptions. How dare he speak to them at all.

The other gave a small laugh at the look he received.  
“I have a wife and two daughters, sorry, that really doesn’t work on me” he smiled bright and honest, squinting at her in the bright sun.  
“I can recognize when something’s wrong, that’s all. I would be happy to help, if you’d let me”

Raphael looked away then, crossing her arms, and thought about the words they would have to say to explain their situation. Too many, for sure.

“I have to go back home. My family needs me there”

“Alright…but?”

“But,” she sighed “It’s complicated. When I…left, things were going bad. Now, I fear it’s going to be even worse”

The man nodded with a hum “Family fighting is never good”

“No, it isn’t. I can’t go back to how it was before”

They remembered the war, and how everything fell apart under their fingertips. No matter how they tried to keep the family together, Michael became cold and detached, Lucifer became violent, and Gabriel grew distant. After the fall, everything shattered.

With Lucifer condemned, Gabriel running away, and Father gone, Michael and Raphael were left to run heaven by themselves. In no time, gone was the big brother who raised all of them, who made them laugh and cared about them all, replaced by a cold and stoic commander, ready to follow orders nobody understood. Raphael didn’t have any fight left in them, and closed off into a silent shell. They would follow Michael to the end of times but came to realize that their brother was gone.

And when even Michael left… they were alone.

There had been training, and wars, and blood. For all their power, even the minor angels came to realize that their strength wasn’t enough to rule. And they were tired. So tired.  
Raphael tried, to save them, to continue his brother’s mission for paradise, hoping that things could go back to normal. At the same time, they swore that they would never care again. It only brought them pain.

And now..

“But...you love them, don’t you” the man gently pressed.

Raphael nodded.  
Even if their time in the empty stripped away their being, the memories now brought back buried feelings, that felt so so much stronger, and they doubted they would be able to hide behind a mask and face what was left of their family.

They were scared, and sad, and angry, and under all of that, there was a small tiny flicker of hope, that they weren’t ever able to put out for good. But if they went back and found nothing had changed, Raphael didn’t think they would survive the blow.   
They loved them. Still, after all this time, they loved them.

“More than anything”

The man gently placed a hand on her shoulder, and Raphael tensed up for a moment, before relaxing into the touch. He was warm, and real.

“Sometimes,” the man said, “that is enough to bear any weight.”  
“and if they love you back, there is always hope for the best”

He tilted his head to search her eyes, and smiled.  
“it’s going to be alright”

Raphael swallowed, willing their body not to shake. Nobody had said that to them in so long. They didn’t know if it was true, and this man less than anybody could guess what was going to happen, but still, it felt like a weight had been lifted from their chest, and Raphael could breathe again. If they were anyone else, they could have cried from the relief.

Instead, she just smiled, grateful that this human was kind enough to speak to her.

“Alright,” he patted her shoulder a couple of times before stepping back.   
“I’m going to head back. The offer for some shade and water still stands” he said, hopeful.

Raphael just shook her head. “No, I think I’ll be going now.”

His shoulders slumped, but didn’t look surprised.  
“okay. You can keep the shawl. Just be careful, it’s too warm to be outside for long!” saying that, he turned back and walked to his cart, parked not far from where they were standing.

“Thank you” he heard from behind him, followed by a rush of air.   
When he turned back to say goodbye, the weird woman was gone, only leaving the smell of rain behind.

The man looked upward, and where one minute before there was only impossibly blue sky, now dark clouds rumbled.

The first drop of water fell on his nose, startling him, and then many more followed.   
The man chuckled in disbelief, and when more clouds rumbled and the rain started falling stronger, he started laughing in earnest, throwing his arms up in the air.

He looked once more to where the strange woman had been standing, but she hadn’t appeared.  
Maybe it had been a vision, or a goddess, he mused, before running back to his cart and hurrying back home, a smile never leaving his face.

When Raphael entered heaven, they were met with silence. Now, they remembered how it was in the past, always filled with music and laughter and harmony, but even in the latest years, there was always some form of noise, angels going on with their daily lives, working, planning, keeping things in order.

Now, the silence was deafening, everything was still and…dead.

Only the human’s souls existed in peace, as always, but they all also somehow understood, something was different, wrong.

Raphael walked down the corridors, the ethereal lights now dim and some almost dark. The once bright walls were now grey, some cracked in places.  
It wasn’t possible.  
Heaven was powered by the angels themselves, and if now the lights were going out, that meant-  
That meant-

They started running.

Every corner they took, they prayed to find someone, anyone, waiting there. Another angel, or Michael, someone that could reassure them that it wasn’t what it looked like.

But with every step, they were thrown more into desperation, until Raphael got to the throne room.

It was empty.

They sent their grace outward, to all of heaven, in search of any of their siblings. Where there should have been thousands, now only a handful remained. Raphael could feel their sadness, and how tired they all were.   
Weak, small, dying.

They wanted to scream. It wasn’t possible. It couldn’t be possible.

Before panic could overcome them, a known presence made itself know in the corner of their mind, before a running Castiel made his way into the room where they stood.

They stopped, staring dumbfounded.

“Hello, Raphael”

“Castiel” the last time they had seen each other, it was –

They closed their eyes, and tried to clear the cloud of confusion from their mind. Separating the dream from the memories.

It was- the moment of their death. Raphael remembered in small flashes, the madness and power radiating off of him, from the souls he had eaten, and the fear they had felt when he turned that same power towards them.

How foolish they all had been.

Now, all of that seemed to be missing, and instead in front of them stood a tired, weak angel. The vessel’s hair was unkept, dark bags under his eyes, and he looked more human than he would ever have thought possible. His grace as well felt thin and worn out. No doubts, the few years on Earth hadn’t been kind to him, and it showed.

Castiel looked behind him at the corridor, before stepping closer to them   
“You shouldn’t be here,” he said quietly.

Raphael didn’t feel any immediate danger, and the place was as empty as they had ever seen it. they didn’t understand the urgency and fear they felt from the other.  
“What happened here?” they asked. They needed answers, and Castiel, as always, seemed to be in the middle of the situation.

He looked pained, for a second, before scolding his features.

“There is no time, you need to talk to Michael, he will explain everything”

“He isn’t here?”

“No, he can’t come back right now. He’s on Earth, just- just go, before someone sees you” he was trying to get rid of them, but there was no way they were leaving without an answer.

Why couldn’t he come back, and why couldn’t he explain. What was the danger, where were the angels, and what happened while they were gone, were all questions they could feel forming in their throat.   
They settled for the most pressing one.

“Castiel,” they said, tone low and commanding “What happened here. Where are the angels” their gaze was hard and cold. Something had gone wrong, really wrong, and they had to know.

“I…” the angel shifted on his feet and swallowed, before looking at Raphael with sad, sad eyes.  
“They- They’re all dead. There’s only a few of us left”

Raphael took a sharp intake of breath, and tightened their hands into fists. So, it was real.

Castiel continued.   
“I couldn’t save them. We’re dying, and Heaven is falling with us” he finished in a whisper.

Castiel had tried, truly. He had searched for ways to handle things on his own, from spells to rituals, he grouped together the angels that were left and tried, really tried to keep Heaven afloat.   
But a whole kingdom was too much for them to handle, and with no help, things were quickly going south.

They were simply not enough, in number or strength.

The gates of heaven were closed, new souls now stuck in the between until they could come up with a solution. But that seemed more unlikely by the second, and all their strength was going towards maintaining heaven alive for as long as they could.

No one believed that help would come, and were resigned to live their last days as they were. Even the most loyal of angels now had lost hope for their Father to come back, and Castiel figured it was better they thought him dead than know the truth.   
That not only did God not care, but he was actively watching and enjoying the show.

He considered explaining to Raphael, but figured that they would never believe him and that it was better to hear the whole story from Michael himself, anyway.

Castiel himself couldn’t make himself believe it was happening, and he could only hope that Raphael listened, for once.

“How did this happen?” Raphael asked in a feeble voice, looking around.   
Their home reduced to…this. Their family, dead. When, why, how did it get so bad? The civil war they had taken part in was terrible, a bloodshed, but even then, it wasn’t like this.

Castiel sighed, his pale form folding on itself with the action.  
“It’s a long story. Go talk to Michael, he’ll explain”

He shared a thought then, an image, a location. They would find him there.  
“And, we are on the same side now, you don’t have to worry.” he said as an afterthought.

Raphael didn’t think sides mattered in a situation like this, but nodded anyway.

They could feel tears prickling at their eyes. The more they stood there, in the silence of an empty home, the more their heart broke. They wanted to get to the other angels and do something, reassure them, and help. But, they didn’t know what they could say, or do.

Maybe Michael could explain, maybe there was a solution to this.

Raphael nodded at Castiel one last time in farewell, before taking their leave, flying towards Michael, and hopefully, answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay! Things happened and I edited this chapter so many times before being somewhat happy with it.
> 
> Thanks for reading and comments are appreciated as always!
> 
> next up: Raphael meets with Michael. They get some answers, and a decision is made.


	15. revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my beta Blomvonar (@ midamspn on tumblr!)

Dean liked to say he was now accustomed to angels coming and going from the bunker. It was slightly uncomfortable at first, and even Castiel had understood that appearing behind his back in a flash was going to get him trouble.

Now with Michael and Lucifer of all (not)people flying about, it was becoming a habit to feel that rush of air and pressure spike whenever one of them flew in the room, but they were also almost always silent. Michael (or Adam) would say hi, and Lucifer wasn’t one to talk much with the humans in the first place.

Gabriel was another matter entirely. Whenever he went, noise was sure to follow. Laughter, a loud greeting or, that one time, a literal confetti explosion that caused Sam to jump three feet in the air and Dean to give a very manly scream.

(Definitely manly. If anybody said otherwise, they were lying,)

Even outside their underground safe bunker of a home, Dean was used to having angels fly near him, and could recognize the smell of ozone and tightness in his ears that preceded them.

Even so, when Raphael entered the bunker, none of those things happened.

He already had the pleasure of witnessing their power once or twice, so he would say that he knew what to expect when suddenly all the lights started to flicker and then explode.

He was already out of his room and making his way in the corridors when a low rumble seemed to shake the walls. He met with Sam halfway through, and quickly walked together, the emergency lights glowing red from the ceiling.

Reaching the place where the sound came from, they noted that Michael was already there, having surely sensed whatever was happening well before them.

He didn’t pay them any attention, and only gestured at them to stay back with a wave.

“I’m here, Raphael” they heard him murmur, before an explosion of light made them cover their eyes and turn back.

It faded slowly, and when they managed to look again, in front of Michael stood the angel.

Dean had no doubt it was really them. Aside from the vessel, that had taken the same form as the last time he had seen them, it was like the first night he met the archangel, the lightning and thunder coming from their form and striking everything around them.

Her eyes were shining so bright with power, and the light curled from her back to everything metal and conductive in the room. From the sockets where the broken lights were, to the metal legs of tables and chairs, ceiling and doors as well, in the shape that, if Dean didn’t know better, reminded him of wings.

It ended as quickly as it began, and the rush of noise left it’s place to a still silence.

Michael looked at Raphael as she reined in her grace once again, her eyes losing the blue light and slowly rising to meet his.

“Hello, Michael”

He could have sang with joy.   
She was really there.

But he limited himself to a tight smile. He had to be careful. Raphael had been gone for a long time, and he had to be sure she wasn’t going to be a danger to herself or anyone else. He could see apprehension in her eyes, and hoped it was only because of their sudden resurrection.

Michael waved a hand, and all the lights in the bunker were fixed, the room back to normal.

“Are you alright?” he asked

“This vessel is fine, yes” she replied with a nod, and rolled her shoulders.

“…I am glad. But are you? Alright?” he asked again, keeping his voice soft.

Raphael looked agitated for a moment, and seemed to be unsure of the answer.

“Michael, what- what happened?”   
Her voice was lost, and reminded Michael so much of the child he once knew.

“A lot of things happened” he smiled amused.  
“But it’s okay now. Or, it will be.”

He didn’t want to commit the same mistake he did with Gabriel. He had to quickly tell Raphael the whole truth, and make sure she knew who they were facing.

“You should sit down a moment, so we can talk. I have a lot to tell you”

“Are they with us?” Raphael nodded towards the Winchesters, a careful glare shooting in their direction.

“Yes. They are no threat” Michael replied, but quickly remembered they were also the ones that managed to kill them in the first place, so he added, careful “I will protect you”

At that, she seemed to stand down slightly, and sat down with Michael at the table, as the Winchesters quietly made their way the opposite side. Sam sat down, wringing his hands together, while Dean crossed his arms and stood behind his brother, no doubt ready to protect him if needed.

“I went to Heaven” Raphael said all of a sudden. That prompted a few choice of curses from the humans, and a sigh from Michael. He had feared something like this would happen.

“Did anyone see you?”

“I spoke to Castiel, but no one else. Michael…what happened? Heaven is-“  
Empty, Falling, _Dying._ They couldn’t bring themselves to say it, but the slump of their shoulders spoke plenty.

“I know” Michael replied. He didn’t have the opportunity to go back himself, but Castiel had told him what the situation was, and his heart cried for his siblings.

“But, you’re back! Why aren’t you doing something? We should be there fixing things and bringing the angels together, what are we doing here with some humans?” she said, her tone quickly getting heated.

Michael knew that Raphael must be confused. He already had the same thing happen with Gabriel, but while he was loud and open about what bothered him, Raphael was never one to raise their voice. Even as a child, they were quieter than the rest, but no less fierce.

And later on, even when frustration would get the best of them, they knew that antagonizing Michael would only bring out the cold and emotionless commander, that would give orders and took no questions.

Maybe that was what they were hoping for, even just to have something resembling normal.

Too bad Michael had no intention of going back to that.

“I will explain everything, I promise. Just-“ he raised his hands slightly, hoping maybe to take Raphael’s in his, but abandoned the motion when the other went rigid in her seat and curled her hands away from his.

It was going to be a long night.   
Michael sighed and started to talk.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Raphael hadn’t moved in a couple of minutes. She was sitting in the same position, looking at some point behind Michael’s shoulder. When he finished explaining (with some help from Sam filling in the details and some less than helpful comments from Dean) he figured she would need some time to, well, process all of that.

But he was getting worried.

He really wished for a reaction, any reaction. Even the violence that Gabriel brought was better than this, and Michael didn’t know how to handle it.

Adam quietly supported him from the back of their mind, not speaking up. He never met Raphael, and talking to her now would only add to the confusion and alarm she was no doubt feeling.

He was just glad his blood brothers were being blissfully silent for now. Even Dean had the decency of having his gaze low on the ground, understanding the struggle of having to go against your own father.

  
  


Finally, Raphael looked at Michael, and she looked so tired it broke his heart.

“So, it was all for nothing” she said quietly.  
“All that we did, all that we suffered. It didn’t matter”

She seemed to get lost then, gaze unfocused and empty.  
“It didn’t make a difference”

Michael never wanted to hold them more than in that moment.  
He knew what they referred to.

The fall, of course, but all that came after as well. The abandonment, the cold façade they all put up to bear the pain, the apocalypse.  
And then, as Castiel had told him during some quiet nights, the civil war and the fall from grace.

With Raphael in the middle of it all by themselves, trying to keep their place on top of a role that was never meant to be vacant.  
But still, trying to get to peace, to safety and back home.

“So many of us died, Michael-” they didn’t manage to finish the thought, voice breaking halfway through.   
It was too much, too much to bear to think.

They wanted to disappear. To go back to the desert with the kind man that had helped them make sense of the world they were in.  
Even the silence of the Empty was better than this, than the image of countless of angel’s wings burning and screaming and dying, all for a lie.

Raphael shuddered and closed their eyes.

“I know” they heard Michael reply, just as quiet, as if it was a secret between them. And maybe it was, because no matter how much the humans would tell themselves they understood their pain, they simply couldn’t.

“But,” he continued, searching their eyes, “There is still hope.”

“How?”

“Well, we’re not alone this time”

Saying that, Michael looked at some point behind their shoulder and gave a small smile.

Raphael turned, and slowly stood up, looking wide-eyed at Gabriel, laying back on a pillar with his arms crossed and a smirk on his face.

“Hey Raphy, long time no see!”

“…Gabriel”

They didn’t know how long he had been there for, but hadn’t noticed him entering the room. It had probably something to do with how they kept their grace packed as close to their vessel as they could, so they wouldn’t risk feeling anything other than the vague comforting presence of Michael next to them. Everything else was simply too much too soon, and they’d rather not risk making contact.

There was no doubt it was him though. He really hadn’t changed.

“You’re- back?”

The last time they had talked, it had been before he ran. They had screamed each other hoarse, trying to get the other to see reason. And when both of them couldn’t, they had turned their backs to hide their tears, and never looked back.

So much had happened since then.  
Raphael wondered if he even remembered that conversation.  
They wondered if he knew how sorry they were, how much they had missed him.

Gabriel’s smirk left his face, and looked at his sibling with a somber expression, nodding slightly.

“Yeah”

“We’ll work together” Michael said then, and Raphael turned back towards him still in shock.

“I brought you back because you all deserve to live” he said, standing up.  
“but also because of this. We have to work together, the four of us. Or everything really will have been for nothing”

Raphael narrowed their eyes.  
_Four?_

“Do you mean-“

“Yep!” interrupted Gabriel, walking in their field of vision and waltzing around the table. Closer to Sam and Dean than Michael, but on his side nonetheless.

“He’s flying around the planet right now, probably scheming-“ he said, receiving a half-glare from Michael.  
He sighed, rolling his eyes “but it does seem like Lucifer is also on our side”

“You aren’t serious” she said to Michael.   
That they had made a truce was almost as hard to believe as everything else that happened.

He didn’t reply, and Raphael took a sharp breath.

“It wasn’t your decision to take” they began. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t.

“Raphael -“

“He betrayed us, he started all of this! It was his fault and now you just forgave him? Just like that?” they spoke up, angry.

“You don’t believe that. You never did” he smiled sadly, and at Raphael’s guilty look he added,  
“It’s alright, I know you were always on his side, deep down. You stayed because of your loyalty to Heaven, but you were always too perceptive not to see his reason”

Raphael wanted to deny it, wanted to say that they were always on Michael’s side, because Michael was right and he was safe and he was home.  
But while he was angry at Lucifer for defying their Father, Raphael only resented him for letting his hate get between them all, and not for his actions.

Still, Michael spoke as if Lucifer only left him, as if they weren’t all there when it happened, as if he was the only one hurt, the only one who had a right to forgive.

They hang their head, feeling like a child.  
It wasn’t fair.

Michael hated to see her like that. He had spent such a long time pretending to not feel a thing, that now it seemed impossible to keep silent in front of her distress.

He sighed, once again, and placed a hand on Raphael’s shoulder in comfort, but not a heartbeat later, she flinched hard and jumped away from the contact, at the same time as Michael flung his hand back with a startle, feeling the shock of a live wire going through his arm.

Raphael looked at him, an apology on their tongue, but didn’t say anything.  
Michael still understood, and carried on as if nothing had happened, but filing this matter away for later, ignoring the worried glances Gabriel and the humans shot in their direction.

One thing at a time.

“It wasn’t Lucifer’s fault. Any of it, really. After all that I just told you, you have to know that it’s true”   
His eyes were sad, and were pleading for her to understand.

“We were all used” Gabriel spoke up, backing Michael up with a frown on his face, “and I say it’s time we get our payback”  
He then walked around the table once again, to come standing next to Raphael.

They were gripping the edge of the table with such strength that he wouldn’t be surprised if there were indents left in.

“You don’t have to forgive him if you don’t want to” he spoke, raising a finger towards Michael before he could interrupt  
“No one expects you to. And if once this is over you want to never see him again, it will be your choice”  
“But, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, you should talk to Lucifer and see for yourself.”

He looked in her eyes, dark and beautiful, and tired.

“I still hate his guts, don’t get me wrong. I’m just saying, we followed someone else’s truth too many times”

Raphael didn’t know what to do, what to think, how to act, so they turned to old habits.  
Because if they had only one certainty in that moment, was that they trusted Michael. No matter what happened.

So they sighed, far more shakily than they liked, and asked  
“What do you need me to do?”

“Help me, Raphael. Help us. We can’t make it without you”

The reply was quiet, but there nonetheless   
“okay”

Michael sighed in relief

“On one condition”

He nodded “of course. Anything.”

  
“Help me save Heaven”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small note: like all angels, Raphael doesn't care for gender, and take on the one the vessel is portrayed as. However, since they are more detached from humanity than the others (both from being dead for years as well as the general feeling I got from them on the show), when thinking about themselves and in flashbacks, I'll be using they/them.  
Just wanted to clear that up!
> 
> as always thanks for reading and comments are appreciated! :^)


End file.
